#78: Claudia and Crazy Peaches

"As an artist, I have this theory: if you can't eat it or wear it - paint it. That's what helped me decide to use the walls and ceiling of my room as my canvas. I also paint clothes (I tie-dye them, too) and shoes. I have several pairs of high-top sneakers that I decorated in glitter and puff paint. I even have a pair of ballet flats* that are entirely covered in red sequins. I call them my ruby slippers, after Dorothy's in The Wizard of Oz."

I don't know if I've ever loved her more.

"I really enjoy putting unusual combinations together. I'll wear suspenders backwards [this sounds incredibly uncomfortable] with tuxedo pants and a long sleeved T-shirt that I've tie-dyed myself. Or I'll cover an entire jean vest with tiny safety pins and funky plastic charms from a gumball machine and wear that with a jean skirt and bright red cowboy boots."

Sidebar: remember the episode of How I Met Your Mother where Ted is trying to prove to his friends that bright red cowboy boots are totally fashionable? And they're all like, "dude, no." And then he meets some random gay couple, and Ted solicits opinions, and the one guy just goes "Pulling. them. off." Remember that?

I have no point here. I just thought it was funny.

Plot, for those who had stopped reading by this point in the series: Claud's beloved Aunt Peaches is pregnant. She and her husband come to live with the Kishis while preparing to move to Stoneybrook. Peaches wants Claud to hang out with her 24/7, because she quit her job to focus on baby-growing and is understandably bored. Claudia and Peaches end up having a fight. Peaches has a miscarriage (um, unrelated). It's damn sad, as you would expect. (Example sad quote: "Russ took off his coat and held it in his lap as he sat on the arm of the couch. 'The doctors say that Peaches is absolutely fine, and this . . . this was just one of those things. They feel certain that we can try again.' Russ stared at his coat. 'Though I think we may wait quite awhile.'") Yeah. Heavy stuff for a book with an RL4 rating.

We should end on an up note, right?

"Friday. Usually it's the highlight of the week, right? Wrong! I think I had to listen to a lecture from every one of my teachers, including my PE teacher. She thought my sparkle socks were inappropriate for gym class."

Choose-your-own-weak-closing-joke:

A) "But the new kid, Edward Cullen, thought they were great!"

B) Who the hell is her gym teacher? Sue Sylvester?

*I found these Miu Miu ballet flats when I googled 'sequined ballet flats'. If I had $440 just lying around the apartment, they would already be mine.