According to Madewell and Claudia Kishi, sheep are totes in for fall
by Kim on Wednesday, September 05, 2012
You guys. I'm innocently browsing the Madewell fall catalog when suddenly I find myself staring at perhaps the most Claudia-approved sweaters of all time. I had to drop everything for this one.
A while back -- you know, when I was actively updating -- some of you suggested I use polyvore. Some of you also suggested I re-create Claudia's outfits myself. I assume that subset had been dipping into Sharon Schafer's special brownie stash or something. I mean, what were you thinking? I can't pull off a high side pony! But I CAN try to create less offensive versions of Hodges Soileau's attempts at fashion through the magic of online collage sites. So: updating the outfit begins with book #42, Jessi and the Dance School Phantom.
What a cover. Jessi looks more stankface than scared, and then there's Dawn. With that hair. That hair*. It's so bad that the first update I made to her outfit was a VO5 hot oil treatment, because there's no excuse for that situation on top of her head. Her Texas Tuxedo would be slightly more acceptable if she was wearing grey jeans, and when I think California Casual I think Swedish Hasbeens. Mostly because the early books kept mentioning Dawn's affinity for clogs and it just stuck. And orange slice earrings because California. Obvi.
What a cover. Jessi looks more stankface than scared, and then there's Dawn. With that hair. That hair*. It's so bad that the first update I made to her outfit was a VO5 hot oil treatment, because there's no excuse for that situation on top of her head. Her Texas Tuxedo would be slightly more acceptable if she was wearing grey jeans, and when I think California Casual I think Swedish Hasbeens. Mostly because the early books kept mentioning Dawn's affinity for clogs and it just stuck. And orange slice earrings because California. Obvi.
Madewell chambray shirt / AllSaints super skinny jeans / Madewell slip on shoes / Duffel bag / Orange slice stud earrings by dixielanddelight on Etsy
It's been a while, huh?
So, what's new with you? Things are cool over here. I live practically across the street from an Urban Outfitters now, which is kind of troubling for my wallet. Also I haven't bought any new Fryes in a really long time but that doesn't mean I haven't made all sorts of other terrible purchasing decisions. But you're probably not here to read about me, even though the fact that I'm a blogger means I'm inherently kind of narcissistic and you're gonna end up reading about me anyway. We both know who you're really here for. And she's back. At least for a little while. I've got some entries queued up and some strange outfit descriptions for us to ponder together and I just vacuumed the floor of my bedroom so BSC meetings are gonna be a little less dusty.
Also the adverb abuse will continue. That I can absolutely promise you.
How to Put Together Your Totally Dibble Claudia Kishi Halloween Costume
Dude, how is it almost Halloween already? I guess my hectic babysitting schedule has kept me too busy to realize that summer's long over. Damn those Pike children and their loveable* hijinks!
I haven't dressed up for Halloween in years (unless 'sweatpant-wearing twentysomething' counts as a costume as well as my daily wardrobe**), but I'm sure some of you are looking to put together a fabulous throwback costume. Why not our super acute vice president?
Below, please enjoy your guide to a dibbly fresh Halloween costume (almond-shaped eyes not included) that you'll inevitably have to explain to almost every male at the party.
- Side ponytail Scrunchy optional . . . you could also choose to weave a ribbon into your hair, divide it into five braids and pin them to the top of your head, or just throw a fuckton of barrettes in there and see what happens.
- Homemade earrings Get yourself on Etsy and search for 'dollhouse earrings' -- you'll hit the motherload of Claudia-inspired crafts. You might want to pick a theme and gear your costume in that direction, like the time Claudia dressed like she was traveling under the sea with Miss Frizzle. Bonus points if you get a pair of earrings where one is a fork and the other is a piece of cake.
- Telephone cord bracelet You know, assuming you can actually find such a thing out in this brave new world full of iPhones. Do you realize our kids aren't going to understand what cassette tapes are? And floppy disks? Oh god, my youth is collapsing all around me.
- Neon EVERYWHERE I don't like American Apparel as a company (cause, you know, skeevy and awful?) but, yeah, basically look for clothes so bright you're in danger of burning out your friends' retinas. Hit up welovecolors and buy some tights that practically glow in the dark.
- Mix your patterns with wild abandon Maybe get drunk first, twirl around for a while (try not to vomit in your closet), and then put on the first couple of patterns you find. Plaids with stripes! Herringbone and polka dots! Instead of asking why, ask why not!
- Pockets You want as many pockets as possible in your Claudia-costume, because an important element of her personality is candy-hoarding, and you can't carry a bedroom/club headquarters around with you. Hide that shit all over YOURSELF. Maybe find a tiny copy of a Nancy Drew book (Nancy Drew's Guide to Life comes to mind) and stuff that in there, too. Then, every time someone asks what you are, just pull out a mini Mounds bar and treat yourself. Bonus points if you create a miniature work of art out of the candy wrappers. Leave it for your host -- they'll totally appreciate it!
- Even more pockets . . . because you should also get yourself a cheap flask and bedazzle the shit out of it. Or cover it in stickers and rick-rack. Basically, this is your personal Kid Kit. Fill it with peach schnapps or some other diabetic coma-inducing liquor. Practice 'poisoning' your friend Stacey.
- Ankle and/or cowboy boots No explanation needed.
If you're bored by the party, you might consider bringing props (a cabbage patch kid as a sitting charge, or an easel that you set up in the middle of a high traffic area just because) to entertain yourself with. Or walk around your friend's apartment, squint at the grease stains in the kitchen, and say to no one in particular "this might be art." This will get easier the more time you spend with your personal Kid Kit.
Drink plenty of water before you go to bed. And then send me the pictures the next day.
Happy Halloween everyone.
* annoying
** seriously, working from home is awesome, you guys.
Mandy Miller Comes Correct
Y'all remember The Unicorn Club series? I loved it so much. Then they broke up the club in book 6 (The Unicorns at War) and didn't even include a preview of the next book and, dude, my adolescent heart was so broken, thinking the series was over. Then I randomly stumbled on #7 (Too Close for Comfort) while on vacation with my family (treasured memories: going to bookstores in other states) and all was right in the world again but the books weren't really that great after that bitch Kimberly Haver came back to Sweet Valley and ruined everything.
. . . Obviously I had a very tough childhood.
This is the cover of the first book, which I studied INTENTLY because there was no way the illustrator was pulling a fast one on me: that was clearly Tiffani Amber Theissen on the front cover. It's like "oh, hey! The Wakefield twins! Maria Slater, former child star! Lila Fowler, looking sadly weasely! Mary Wallace, as exciting as a sack of potatoes! And right in the middle -- Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell! Why not!"
Anyway, Mandy Miller* is totes the Claudia Kishi of the Unicorn Club. She's not strapping dollhouse chairs to her ponytail or anything, but she is definitely the wacky dresser of the series. In the first book, she tells us that "my family doesn't have much money, so my mom and I have always had to be creative when it comes to clothes. I get most of my clothes from the thrift store. I guess you could say I was the grunge pioneer at Sweet Valley Middle School.
Take today - I had on wide-legged striped pants, a knit cap, and a long vest over a T-shirt. Not to brag on anything, but I do have sort of a flair with clothes. Even Lila Fowler tells me she really likes the way I put things together."
Even Lila Fowler, people.
"Mandy walked up and down, like a general inspecting her troops. She had really gone all the way today. She was wearing a pair of men's paisley pajama bottoms under a short tartan kilt, with a ribbed poorboy top and a paisley scarf worn like a sash. On her head was a tam with a big pom-pom. She looked great -- sort of like a punk bagpiper.
We all stood up really straight as she passed us by. Mary had on a forties vamp outfit. Flowing pants and a floaty top. Her fine blond hair lay flat all around her head in spit curls. And the only makeup she wore was dead white powder and red, red lipstick.
'Good', Mandy said approvingly, and Mary blushed with pleasure.
Lila had on a white crocheted vest over a black body suit and jeans. On her feet were saddle shoes.
Mandy smiled and shook her head. 'Great.'
On to Jessica. She was wearing faded jeans and a blue, pink, and purple floral-patterned vest. Underneath the vest was a white oxford shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and on her head she had a hat with a big flower pinned to the upturned brim. Elizabeth had chosen a cool fifties-style housedress, accented with colorful jewelry, patterned tights, and lace-up boots.
Evie was there, too, and she trailed behind Mandy like a second-in-command, straightening a shoulder pad or retying a tie when it was necessary.
She was very funky, too, in her patterned men's dress shirt and tie. She wore them over a stretch miniskirt and tights."
Original fashion bloggers tbh. Stacey McGill better scurry on over to Bloomingdale's, because she is getting schooled left and right here.
* Sweet Valley trivia: Mandy Miller was introduced in the Sweet Valley Twins series -- she desperately wanted to be a Unicorn but was kind of goofy and her family was poor but then she got cancer and the Unicorns felt bad about being full-fledged bitches when it turns out Mandy was actually a super great person and then I think Lila bought her a wig because Mandy's mom could only afford a really janky one that did not meet Unicorn standards. I did not have to consult Wikipedia for any of this and that saddens me.
Damn England, What Happened?*
A while back, Alexandra sent me a series of images so horrible that I think my brain short-circuited. U.S. readers, are you aware that other countries have defaced these classic works of literature with cover images like the ones you see below?
I can only imagine that this is payback for the Revolutionary War.
I ended up taking an unplanned sabbatical from blogging (and honestly, that may resume after this entry, who knows) and never got around to sharing these monstrosities. Then I woke up around 3:00 a.m. this morning thinking about them. So here they are in all of their poorly-drawn glory.
And there are more. Many more. Alexandra told me she has a near-complete set of these things**. It's almost too much to process.
Claudia and the Genius of Elm Street
Not too much to complain about here -- dude did a real hatchet job on Rosie Wilder, who was super cute on the OG cover, but Claudia looks passably human. And she's got some sort of groovy Woodstock-inspired ensemble going on. Respect.
Grade: E (Excellent amount of jewelry)
Dawn and the Older Boy
There's a lot that's wrong here, and I'm not just talking about Travis. (I didn't think he could be more creepy than he was on the original cover, but here we are. There's a light in his eyes that suggests he's contemplating where he's going to bury all the bodies.) Why is Dawn suddenly sporty? She's wearing some crazy jersey that clashes with her turquoise shirt and pink pants -- so not California Casual, y'all. Is she having another identity crisis? And there's no way Dawn would ever drink a Coke. We all know Dawn is perfect and her body is a temple and she has no vices whatsoever and she exists solely on sprouts and self righteousness.
Grade: S (Shenanigans)
Shit just got real. Why did they put that ugly little boy in a dress? Oh, that's supposed to be Mary Anne? Really? 'Cause that face looks like, I don't know, bad Justin Bieber fanart. Swear to god, even the bird on the pier is giving her side-eye.
Grade: G (Gender confusion)
Claudia and the Middle School Mystery
So maybe I've been watching too much Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, but I'm mildly concerned about Mr. Zorzi's creeper status. I know, I get it, she's taking a retest and he's suspicious or whatever. But. Doesn't it kinda look like he's checking her out? Watch yourself, Zorzi.
Grade: C (Consider calling Stabler and Benson)
She chooses to wear Chuck Bass-style silk pajamas, and that's all there is to it, okay?
Grade: I (Intense eyebrows)
Keep Out, Claudia!
What's scarier, the mutant racist children in business casual or the clown (?) on Claudia's shirt? Mad props for rockin' the fringe vest like she's a nastygal model, but the orange sweatshirt has got to go. She's definitely considering killing those kids, by the way.
Grade: R (Reconsidering babysitting as a viable career choice)
Kristy's Big Day
I saved the best for last, folks. I'm so horrified by this cover. Crazy Mary Anne is back, raising one eyebrow and wearing a hat for no real reason. There's probably a joke about the royal wedding and British people wearing hats somewhere in there, but I am so tired of hearing about that wedding that I can't bring myself to make it. Anyway, Kristy is straight up busted here (not to mention badly in need of some Alberto V05 hot oil). Maybe the illustrator couldn't meet his deadline and outsourced this job to his 10 year old. That's gotta be the explanation for this, right?
Grade: W (Wtf)
* It may be 2011, but that won't stop me from making Mean Girls references. By the way, how great was Bossypants?
** That may have been a threat.
Sweaterpants: So In Right Now
Lovers of sweaters, crazy prints, and cozy layers should check out Elizabeth Spiridakis' Style Guide for H&M. I was really digging the whole feature, but one look was throwing me off. It nagged at me: where have I encountered this concept before? It's so familiar.
Oh. Right.
"'For heaven's sake. Why are you wearing your sweater on your legs?' I asked. Karen had put each of her feet through a sleeve of her sweater and was now struggling to hold the bottom of the sweater around her waist.
'It's a new style,' Karen replied. 'Sweater-pants.' She hobbled over to my desk. 'Can you button me up the back, please?'
'I have a feeling,' I said as I fastened the buttons, 'that this isn't what Nannie had in mind when she knitted this sweater for you.'"
Super Special #7, Snowbound
Karen Brewer, fashion visionary. Who knew.
Mystery #25: Kristy and the Middle School Vandal
Love the mystery (it stars eighth grade badass Cary Retlin, who refers to the babysitters as the "BSCPD"*), am scared and confused about the cover.
Things that are wrong with this cover:
1. Kristy! What happened to your adorable face? Who are you?
2. Cary Retlin's giant teal t-shirt.
3. Pink. sleeveless. mock. turtleneck.
4. Jessi's proportions. Also her face.
5. Purple lockers?
6. Mary Anne's orthopedic sandals.
7. No tagline. Apparently middle school vandalism is such a serious subject that the editors couldn't bear to take away from the power of the illustration.
I'm sure there's more here, but if I stare at this thing any longer my brain might melt. It's like looking at the sun, or a bad trip, or staring at the sun during a bad trip. Powerful stuff, man.
"On Claudia, with the long black hair, dark eyes, and creamy skin, every look is a great one. [Preach it, girl.] Today she was wearing pink jellies, white ankle socks with pink hearts around the edges, and majorly baggy white overalls, cut off just below the knee, over a tie-dyed pink, green, and yellow T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up. She had a ring on every finger and one on each thumb, including a heart-shaped mood ring, a ring with a little bell on it, a ring that looked like a cat winding around her finger [see also: silver leopard], a baby ring with her birthstone in it, and a ring she'd made herself out of clay and beads. Her hair was pulled back into three braids, which were tied together at the bottom with a pink and green ribbon. She had on her peace symbol earrings, too, and a button that said 'Jerry Garcia Lives' in black script against a tie-dyed background that matched her T-shirt. She'd made the button herself in art class."
This look reads very Christeric (okay, maybe not the ankle socks or the braids) and I love it. I had to dig in her archives until I found this outfit, which I at one point had bookmarked as "CLAUDIA WOULD". I mean, right?
"One of Stacey's best colors is black - a New York City thing, I guess - and today she was wearing black leggings, side-zippered flat black ankle boots with pointed toes, a silver-threaded T-shirt dress that stopped at mid-thigh, and heart earrings. Her fluffy blonde hair was pulled back with a twisted black and silver headband."
Well, I guess I can't complain too much about this.
So I'll move on.
"Cary was wearing my watch when I saw him at school the next morning - my watch and his watch, both on the same arm. It was a look Claudia might sport, I thought wryly."
Kristy underestimates herself, I think. She's got an eye for this sort of thing!
What Not To Wear, Stacey and Claudia Edition:
"Stacey wrinkled her nose. 'I don't know. But someone should tell him grunge is old news. Look at those jeans.'
'I like the jeans,' said Claudia. 'But the shirt has got to go - or at least, go with something else.'"
Zing!
* Way funnier than any joke Abby's ever made. Sorry girl.
Mystery #14: Stacey and the Mystery at the Mall
There's so much going on in this picture - all of it bad. Stacey's bangs have that distinctly crispy look to them (anyone who can remember the late 80s and early 90s knows a thing or two about crispy bangs), Claudia's flares are too short (sure, so were mine when I was a teenager, but I wasn't a baby fashionista who should really know better), and Zingy's is selling pink floral jumpers paired with long-sleeved white blouses. Isn't Zingy's supposed to be the Forever 21 of the Washington Mall? Not even Mallory would consider these duds trendy.
"She believes clothes should do more than cover our bodies and keep us warm. Instead, she sees dressing as one more creative outlet, and it shows. She always looks fabulous, and she never looks just like everyone else. She'll pair a long white shirt with a colorful vest, accessorize with handmade jewelry, pull her hair up into an outrageous ponytail, and look like a million dollars."
Girl slow down. What the heck is an outrageous ponytail? Is she wearing a Jem & the Holograms scrunchie? And where are her pants?
"'One of these days we're going to have to stay a little late and do some serious shopping,' said Claud, eyeing a white lace baby-doll dress. 'I'll ask my dad if he can pick us up one day next week.'"
Dude, can you even believe this book has the nerve to promise shopping and not deliver? You'd think you'd get at least one actual shopping trip in a Mystery at a Mall. But no. We get one lousy sentence about Stacey gazing "at a pair of black lace-up boots and wonder[ing] how they would look with this old-fashioned floral-print dress my mother had given me."
Not great. Now get shopping.
"The next day, Sunday, my friends and I headed over to the mall for the painting party. Charlie drove us in Watson's van. 'You guys sure look different from the last time I saw you,' he said as he dropped us off. It was true. That afternoon, we had been dressed in our best clothes. This time we were wearing stuff we'd found in the rag-bag. Claudia, for example, had wrapped a neon-pink bandana around her head, and she was wearing a humongous pair of overalls over an ancient striped T-shirt."
I don't know, Stace. That sounds like a pretty typical Claudia outfit to me.
Another chance to win a $100 Shopbop giftcard (thanks to DSQUARED2)
It's time for another Shopbop $100 giftcard giveway! This one is brought to you by* DSQUARED2, Lela Rose, and Rachel Roy. To enter, leave a comment with your e-mail address and favorite Super Special. I'll pick a random winner in two weeks.
You can also follow Shopbop (for fashion news, lookbook links, and Fashion Week updates) on twitter. And if you need some wishlist inspiration, I'm dying over just about every piece in their Sophisticated 70s trend report.
* Typing 'brought to you by' makes me feel like a PBS announcer.
Incredulous Kristy Remains Incredulous; Internet is a Delightful Place
You guys are so great. I love all your Incredulous Kristys. My deepest fear was that you'd be like "huh" and not even bother, but instead you made a bunch of masterpieces, possibly while under the influence. And I would never judge you for that. You work hard! Take the edge off, have another beer. I've been so overjoyed with the incredulous nature of it all that I put up a bunch of them on tumblr. I can't promise that little side project will last (RIP What Chuck Wore), but there was too much gold not to redistribute it somehow.
Of the Kristys submitted in the last post, my favorite had to be lemonpants's Indignant Kristy, who can't even believe these bitches would be grabbin' slices without asking permission.
Ahh, the pizza toast; a great BSC tradition. Lemonpants, if you would like a not-so-gently used copy of Claudia's Book as a reward for this brilliance, please e-mail me.
Other things that are great:
- Phi adding Chloe Doc Martens to her interpretation of Claudia's outfit in Abby the Bad Sport.
- Season five of Bad Girls Club. Don't look at me like that. These are the girls Cokie Mason (AND PROBABLY STACEY MCGILL, JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE) grew up to be. It's the greatest trash ever. Make some popcorn.
- Drew Grant churning out more Bret Easton Ellis/BSC crossovers: Mary Anne's Man, Stacey and Dawn's Big Adventure Parts 1 and 2
- Getting psyched for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Seriously, I can't even talk about how excited I am. There are no words, just squealing noises and jazz hands. Somewhere in Stoneybrook, Mallory is painstakingly sewing some sweet-ass wizard robes for a midnight showing at the Washington Mall. You know she is.
Incredulous Kristy Does Not Have Time For Your Gum Chewing Shenanigans
Guys, look at this fucking book cover. It is practically a meme in itself. First of all, Claudia's room appears to be a barren, orange-carpeted wasteland. Isn't club headquarters supposed to be crowded and messy and full of art supplies and old Halloween candy? (Illustrator: "Look, I put a painting of Hershey's Kisses on the wall, what more do you want.") Secondly, Jessi (wearing some weird shiny leggings that look suspiciously Dov Charney approved) is clearly thinking "oh shit, I am so screwed right now." Wendy (the Bad Baby-sitter of the title) is like "what? This ain't your castle, I can chew some damn gum. Jeez."
Kristy . . . is wearing the bitchiest bitchface of all the bitchfaces. I can't stop staring. It's amazing. Let's take a closer look.
Wow.
Since you guys make me laugh regularly, I'm pretty sure you can come up with a better caption for her than I can. So I made a memegenerator template for her. I call her Incredulous Kristy, but you can call her whatever you want. If you come up with something funny, please make an image and leave me a comment with a link to your creation. Funniest image wins the dubious prize of a beat up copy of Claudia's Book, where you can learn all about the formative events that made Kishi the artist and bad speller she is today.
Claudia Kishi Can't Help Being Inspirational, She Just Is
Phi sent me the gorgeous image you see above. She's taken on the task of interpreting ghostwriter fashion speak and illustrating Claudia's outfits. This rendition of Claud's look in book #60 (Mary Anne's Makeover) is her first installment. I'm particularly loving the paint-splattered leggings.
You can follow Phi's adventures in illustration at entropificus. I'm looking forward to her versions of Claudia's most iconic outfits, like her Mexican train engineer garb or her clock-tights & lobster earrings look.
#68: Jessi and the Bad Baby-sitter
This book should be called Jessi and the Bad Baby-sitter and Also the Hilarious Baby-sitter. The Hilarious Baby-sitter is Kristy. But first, a Claudia outfit.
"For example, today she was wearing an oversized white shirt under a black vest covered with a design of shiny beads. (She sewed the beads on it herself.) She wore neon green leggings and black ballet slippers (on which she'd sewn a matching bead design). From one of her pierced ears hung a dangling earring made from the same beads and on the other ear she wore a small green hoop earring. It was an original look that only Claudia could make work."
I've realized that my tendency to overuse parentheses is a direct result of reading too many BSC books as a child. My college professors couldn't even beat it out of me; that's how ingrained in my psyche these damn books are. I may need professional help.
So that's about it for fashion. On a positive note, the folks at Scholastic must've been having a grand ol' time (read: they'd been drinking) when they put this book together, because it is full of hilarity. Except for the b plot about Margo Pike shoplifting troll dolls, but in hindsight that's unintentionally hilarious, too. Come on, Margo. A ring with a troll doll on it? Dream bigger.
Kristy Has A Flair For The Dramatic:
"Kristy was right beside me so I handed her the phone.
That might have been a mistake.
'Dawn, you have to come home, like, right away,' she said urgently into the phone. 'No, I'm not kidding. We're in a mess here and we need you back.'
'You're going to make her feel bad,' said Mary Anne, reaching out to take the phone from Kristy.
Kristy turned away from Mary Anne, still talking into the phone. 'Yes, that was Mary Anne. . . . No, you can't talk to her until you swear you'll come back right away.'
Mary Anne reached around and scooped the phone out of Kristy's hand. 'Don't pay attention to her,' she told Dawn. 'We're doing all right.'
'No, we're not!' Kristy shouted into the mouthpiece."
No wonder she got the role of Peter Pan. BSC President, master thespian . . . is there anything she can't do? (Besides walk in heels, that is.)
Kristy Might As Well Take Over Writing This Blog:
"'Dawn!' she screamed excitedly. We could hear her all the way down in the living room. Instantly we thundered up the stairs to join in on the phone call.
'We just finished watching your video,' Claudia was telling her as we ran into the room. 'It was great!' Claudia cupped her hand around the phone and turned to us. 'It's Dawn.'
'Duh,' said Kristy."
I should be taking notes from this bitch. Snark doesn't have to be wordy. Sometimes a simple yet eloquent "duh" will suffice. Point taken, Thomas. Point taken.
Claudia'd Be Into It: The Uniform Project
I'm sure many of you are already familiar with the Uniform Project (those of you who aren't can read about the site's mission and history here). It was started in 2009 by a woman named Sheena Matheiken who pledged to wear the same dress for a year to raise money for the Akanksha Foundation.
The Uniform Project's Pilot series features a new woman - and dress - each month. Lesley Arfin is taking on the challenge for September, wearing a Judi Rosen design (and plenty of quirky socks!) to raise funds for Phoenix House.
The concept of the Uniform Project is a fascinating one, and I think Claudia would really dig the challenge. Dude, can you even imagine the crazy dress she'd come up with? It'd be of her own design, of course. Probably tie-dyed, maybe with a dramatic cowlneck. She'd add a little something to it each day; by the end of the month it would be covered in sequins, feathers, fringe, perler beads, and puffy paint. She'd mix things up by pairing it with her sneaker collection, snake bracelet, sandals that wrap up her calves, skeleton earrings, bungee cord belt, etc. Flawless bitch!
Below are some images of India Salvor Menuez, who kicked off the Pilot series in August. Her profile describes her as "effortless, artsy, slightly subversive, and ultra mellow" . . . kind of like a certain babysitter we all know and love. Shades of Kishi abound in India's outfit choices, amiright?
Mismatched socks & mismatched shoes (sometimes together), crazy colorful crochet pieces, leggings galore . . . love it. India even cut one version of the dress in half (see the top left and bottom right pictures) and wore it as a skirt & crop top. Girl, you know Claudia would.
BSC at Fashion Week: What Is This I Can't Even
I feel like my entire Google Reader has been taken hostage by New York Fashion Week. Which is pretty great; I get to enjoy NYFW in small, clickable doses (while eating Honey Mustard and Onion pretzels, which would probably be frowned upon at most shows), and Mark All As Read once I'm tired of staring at the beautiful people.
One of my favorite reads has been White Lightning -- Elizabeth Spiridakis is the kind of blogger who inspires me to use cliched phrases like "keeping it real". Plus she gets really excited about ridiculous shoes and throws outfits together in a way Claudia Kishi would totally approve of.
Anyway, I was catching up on her Fashion Week coverage when I came across her entry on Rachel Antonoff's slumber party themed presentation and . . . I died a little inside.
Jessi Ramsey has made it to Fashion Week! Slouch socks are so in right now! Leotards for everyone!
(More information about the presentation can be found on Daily Candy and Stylecaster. If all Fashion Week presentations involved bubbles and s'mores, I'd be trying to elbow my way inside a few right now. 'Cause, come on. Free s'mores.)
Change of Season
Autumn is exciting for many reasons: fall foliage, delicious pumpkin ales, an excuse to eat a lot of candy, my birthday, etc. After a summer of sweating through tank tops, getting back to layering/boots weather is maybe the most exciting reason of all. A lot of fall trend reports (like this one at Refinery29) are pointing to camel as the shade of the season, and I never say no to a good neutral. Below, some items from my fall lust list. Off to rob a bank or two, see ya later.
Clockwise from top left: 1. Frye Darci studded clog 2. UO Risky reader 3. Anthropologie Million Elephants bag 4. Frye Miranda t-strap 5. Swedish Hasbeens Jodhpur bootie 6. Madewell cascade colordrop necklace 7. Madewell biker bomber jacket
#110: Abby the Bad Sport
This book has no redeeming value. There's a lot of talk about soccer and being a team player, and not a single trip to the Washington Mall. I hated it and I would like to have those forty-five minutes of my life back, or reparations* in the form of Madewell gift cards.
At least there was an outfit to go with the standard-issue character introductions.
"Claudia often wears her art on her sleeve - almost literally. On this, my first Monday back at the BSC, for example, she was in a little crop-top muscle shirt that she had batikked green and blue. She'd sewed a bunch of buttons up the front as if it were a vest. She also had on skinny black shorts, one blue sock and one green sock, and black Doc Martens with one blue shoelace (on the foot with the green sock) and one green shoelace (on the foot with the blue sock). Her long black hair had been gathered into a single braid. A blue ribbon with more buttons attached to it was woven into the braid. Her earrings? Buttons, naturally."
Love the sock/shoelace switch-up. Very Clarissa Explains it All. Oh, and let's pretend the socks were thigh-highs, even though we all know Mama Kishi would not be feelin' that. Oh! And let's make the shorts leather. So 2010!
We also have some team spirit from the BSCers, who come to all of Abby's games. They're good friends. I would have told Abby that her sport was boring and I'd support her by meeting her later for a Seinfeld marathon, after she'd gotten all of that running and kicking out of her system.
"Claudia has decorated an oversized T-shirt for the occasion with purple-and-white soccer balls and had made earrings to match. Kristy was wearing a purple baseball hat covered with buttons. Stacey wore a purple silk T-shirt, and Mary Anne was wearing a purple striped shirt. Jessi had on a purple leotard [of course she did], while Mallory was wearing purple-and-white-striped socks and a white hat with a booster button on it."
Dude, the Unicorn Club is going to be so mad when they hear that the babysitters are wearing their signature color.
* Yes. Reparations from Ann M. Martin and her army of ghostwriters. You'd want them too if you'd read this crap.
Fashion Mystery Solved: Claudia's Ballet Slipper Fixation
Remember how often Claudia's outfits involved ballet slippers? Sometimes customized? Stacey talked about Claud's sneaker collection, but inquiring minds really wanted to know about the ballet slippers. I took ballet classes as a child* (didn't we all?) and I could not wrap my head around the concept of anyone wearing those things in public. I mean, they're very cute and comfortable once they've been broken in, but they're super thin leather with a suede sole. They can barely handle a year on the wooden floor of a dance studio. How was she commuting to Stoneybrook Middle School in those things?
My theory was that she either only wore them inside her bedroom or it was a semantic issue -- Ann M. Martin was actually trying to describe ballet flats, and her limited fashion vocabulary caused her to use dance shoe terminology.
Then I saw this entry on No Fashion Victims and nearly did a pas de bourrée of joy. I'd recognize that peach-y nude shade anywhere!
The perfect hybrid of dance shoe and real world flat. They exist. Topshop makes them. And they look super cute with boyfriend jeans. Go make your Kishi fashion dreams come true.
* I was no Jessi, unless Jessi was small and pointy and often had underwear bunching issues with her leotard. Also once in a while I got sent out of the room for fooling around too much. What a shocker.
Mystery #11: Claudia and the Mystery at the Museum
This isn't a recap blog, but I often talk a little bit about plot in my book entries. Don't expect much of that for the mysteries. I really dislike them, and I've talked about why in past entries.
That said, I'm glad I got my hands on this one. Not because of the plot (it's stupid). The cover, however, more than makes up for the detective-y hijinks. And we get FOUR Claudia outfits. They're all amazing.
1. "I love to put outrageous outfits together, and I hate looking like everyone else. I mean, I do wear trendy clothes, like leggings and big slouchy socks and Doc Marten boots, but I always add my own touches so that I stand out from the crowd. For instance, earrings I've made myself, or a big belt that I found in a thrift store. I also like to play around with my hair. One day I'll wear it in a French braid, and the next day it'll be in a ponytail on the top of my head.
That Sunday, my hair was in a long braid hanging down one side of my head [hey! Me too! Right now!], with red ribbons threaded into it [oh. Damn. Bested again.]. I was wearing a red-and-white striped shirt that hung down almost to my knees, red leggings, and black high-top sneakers. Even though I wasn't planning on going anywhere that afternoon, I had put some thought into my outfit. That's just the way I am."
2. "I had dressed up a little, in pink lace leggings and a long black sweater. My hair was tied back with a pink ribbon, and I was wearing pink ballet-type flats."
As seen on the cover!
Related: wise words from Blair Waldorf. Yeah. Honestly, Kishi. And while we're on the topic of Gossip Girl, I watched a season 4 promo and got all excited (smut! babies! fashion! petty bitchiness! Chuck Bass!), even though I totally know better. I refuse to fall for the CW's shenanigans this time. Your fancy trailers and excellent font choices can't fool me, Schwartz.
3. "'Forget about the mystery! [Seriously, word.] This will be my first formal party, I'm going to meet a famous artist - and I have no idea what to wear!'
'You look nice in what you have on now,' said Kristy. 'Why don't you just wear that?'
I looked down at myself. I was wearing a pair of bright red leggings topped by a white man-tailored shirt and a vest that used to belong to my father. Only Kristy would think my outfit qualified as 'formal'."
3½. (closet search) "Stacey pulled out a black velvet dress. 'How about this?' she asked.
I shook my head. 'Boring,' I said.
She nodded and threw it on the bed. 'What about these silk pants?'
'Are pants okay at a formal party?' asked Mary Anne doubtfully. 'You don't want to look like a kid who doesn't know how to dress.'
'Ditch the pants,' I said immediately.
Stacey pulled outfit after outfit out of my closet. I have a lot of clothes, but nothing seemed right. Most of them are fine for school, or even for special events like dances or parties. But nothing looked right for a party like this one. A grown-up party.
'You look terrific in this,' Stacey said, holding up a bright blue sweater-dress.
'Thanks,' I said. 'But it's not right, either.'
'Do you think I could borrow it?' she asked."
Focus, Stacey.
4. "'What's this?' Stacey asked, reaching into the back of the closet and coming out with a long, silky pale green robe embroidered in gorgeous colors. . .
. . . I took off my vest and shirt, and slipped on the kimono. The silk felt soft and light against my skin. It seemed to float around me. I tied the sash (which Mimi called an 'obi') around my waist and stood up straight.
'Wow,' said Mary Anne softly.
'Awesome,' said Stacey. 'You look totally awesome.'
I walked to the mirror to see for myself. The green and blue colors of the kimono set off my black hair, and the long, fluttering sleeves looked romantic. For half a second, I saw Mimi's face instead of mine in the mirror, and I felt tears come to my eyes."
Spoiler alert: the janitor did it. There you go. That's the kind of crook who would steal art, apparently.
I've retained a troubling amount of information about books I read during my childhood.
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