by Kim on Tuesday, October 28, 2008

#46: Mary Anne Misses Logan

So remember yesterday when I was talking about Mary Anne Misses Logan? Well, I thought it would be fun if I gave you all coronaries by updating the blog two days in a row. I know! Can you believe these shenanigans?! Don't fret, I'll probably return to my usual status (Negligent Blogger) soon enough. My friend Kel keeps telling me I should get a cat (because she can sense my impending spinsterhood) and I'm like "DUDE, I can't even take care of my inanimate web project, let alone an actual living creature." The poor thing would be dead within a week. I'm surprised my pothos plant is still alive.

Anyway. Behold the glory (all credit goes to the dibbly-fresh gallery and of course to the visionary who created this masterpiece of early 90s cover art).

Did you behold? Don't just look, people. BEHOLD. Take in every blessed detail, including the blurred crowd of skaters very, very far away from the girls, like maybe the babysitters have all contracted some sort of terribly contagious disease and have been quarantined to one side of the rink. I also like the tagline A LOT: "Nothing beats your friends. But even so . . ." There are just way too many hysterical (and, shamefully, dirty) ways to finish that sentence.

So I guess Claudia, Stacey, and Kristy decided to go out and buy matching white rollerskates and didn't tell Mary Anne. Harsh! And where are the other three? I guess I should just be glad there's at least one book where the entire club doesn't wander around in a pack.

I meant to discuss outfits here, truly I did.

KRISTY: That. sweater. And the clashing turtleneck. And the cuffed jeans.
STACEY: Clearly, if she was standing up, we'd be seeing some camel toe. That sweatshirt does NOT look long enough to cover those leggings, and Blair Waldorf may need to hold a disciplinary hearing.
MARY ANNE: Meh. Again though, with the cuffed jeans.
CLAUDIA: I love this fierce bitch. Now, I would never wear any of this. But this is just so, so good. If only we could see some crazy accessories*, this would be a perfect Claudia outfit. The mulberry vest over what is undoubtedly one of Mr. Kishi's work shirts. The omnipresent black leggings. The non-matching yet still coordinated fedora (also sported by Jenny Humphrey last night in her new life as some sort of cobrasnake style hipster-hussy. Okay, fine, it was a bowler hat. I just wanted another excuse to talk Gossip Girl. I won't get into the Chuck stuff, though, because that is a subject for an entirely new blog, which I plan to title What Chuck Did And Why I Am Extremely Attracted To Him Even Though I Shouldn't Be What The Hell Is Wrong With Me. Catchy, right?).

* Speaking of crazy accessories, I entered a contest and naturally I'd like you to vote for me if you're bored and looking to waste valuable work time while getting paid for your adventures in internet surfing. Lucky Magazine sent me an e-mail in which they basically said "hey if you enter this contest and write about it on the blog perhaps we'll reward you with free stuff." And I was like, "woah, free stuff! I'm in!" And then I realized it was a contest that revolved around denim, and I was EVEN MORE IN. And then I took a bunch of self portraits and THEN I questioned whether this was a good idea in the first place. I mean, I kind of enjoy being the anonymous snark-ster that hides behind a profile picture taken over a year ago in a bathroom mirror. I am not exactly America's Next Top Model. I don't know how to smile with my eyes! It's a crime, really.

So here's my entry. I tried to include an amusing write-up -- I am most proud of the line about me attending the Paris Hilton School of Posing Like a Douchebag, because it's very clear that I DID attend that school, and was heavily involved in all its extracurricular activities.

Detail: three necklaces, back pocket detailing (oh, fine, gratuitous booty shot . . . but now I get to tell my grandchildren that I posted a picture of my butt on the internet! And admit it: now that you've seen the studs you kind of want these jeans, even if you're not down with ecru pants.), and learning to pose like a flamingo for fun and profit. The flamingo thing was actually to show off my shoes, because they are an amazing pair of Jeffrey Campbell oxfords that I hardly ever take off because I am FIVE TEN in them. The bag is Gryson for Target.

And, because those photos are kind of somber and I want you all to know I am still the fun-loving gal you know and, um, tolerate, here I am giving you some SERIOUS finger guns.

Pew pew pew!

(This entry is a good example of why I should go to rehab for my caffeine addiction. It is clearly raging out of control. Time to get out the intervention banner!)


I do not know what is more brilliant. This entry or the FINGER GUNS! MADE OF AWESOME! That is my new favourite picture of you ever. Your entry is fierce bb. If you don't win, I call shenanigans.

I am loling so hard at the fact that everyone is 100 feet away from the BSC. They are totally contagious. Anyone who goes near them joins the club. And omg. Your assessment of Stacey's outfit. Aaaaaaaaaaah!!
New favourite post on WCW.

by courtney summers on 8:50 PM. #

umm, I just realized that I thought Mary Ann was Logan in my last comment and LOL'd. poor Mar.

by whitney on 10:01 PM. #

cute photo & cute jeans. and whoa, your knee is seriously hyperextended. in ballet that's sometimes considered a good thing, btw.

by Emi at Project Swatch on 2:19 AM. #

I would so read your Chuck Bass blog.

Good luck with the contest!

by Sarah on 9:11 AM. #

omg can we please get gay-married? FOR REALZ.

i love every single thing about this post. especially your impending chuck blog. rawr!

by Laurie Stark on 2:05 PM. #

Oh dear lord, I am slightly in love with you now. This entry was ridiculously AMAZING; I knew that my obsessive site checking would pay off one day.

by Jennifer on 3:57 PM. #

Wow, you're witty AND model gorgeous!

And I would totally read the Chuck Bass blog, too. Love Chuck.

by Diana on 4:59 PM. #

the girl on lucky who said "'douchebag' is not a particularly classy way to put it" is too MUCH.

but i lack the energy to set up an account and tell her that to her cyber-lucky-face.

"you look nice" doesn't cut it either. a.

mazing. and thanks for posting the detail shots here.

by mary fran on 10:31 PM. #

"What Chuck Did And Why I Am Extremely Attracted To Him Even Though I Shouldn't Be What The Hell Is Wrong With Me."

I KNOW! I have to keep reminding myself that he's a date rapist, and it's not working!

by Sarah on 1:30 PM. #

Awesome finger guns. and YES to the intervention banner. I love anyone who references How I Met Your Mother in daily conversation/blog.

by nikki on 1:38 PM. #

those pants have serious paunchy-issues. not yours, but, mary-anne's, hahahahahah

by Melissa Dominic on 10:12 PM. #

Claudia is a fierce bitch! Haha. I love your blog! What a cute idea. I don't get that tagline though..."nothing beats your friends...but even so... (???) What am I not getting?

Anyways, if you ever run out of Claudia outfits to blog about, you should blog about Sweet Valley High! Jessica rocked some pretty funky outfits, if I remember correctly. Or remember the spinoff series...The Unicorn club books? (Or something like that?)

by Reannon on 4:06 AM. #

"I won't get into the Chuck stuff, though, because that is a subject for an entirely new blog, which I plan to title What Chuck Did And Why I Am Extremely Attracted To Him Even Though I Shouldn't Be What The Hell Is Wrong With Me."


by Alicia - Sea Of Ghosts on 4:52 AM. #

You are hilarious. I HATE dawn too. She's so stupid. All pushy about saving the planet. UGH!

by Unknown on 4:48 PM. #

"What Chuck Did And Why I Am Extremely Attracted To Him Even Though I Shouldn't Be What The Hell Is Wrong With Me."

I need to be reading this RIGHT NOW because, well, dude is a total skeeze and date-rapist and generally unsavory character but for some reason...ugh, I totally love that little perv! Please provide a link to your detailed analysis of this strange Chuck Bass attraction so I can come to grips with this. :)

by brista on 2:21 AM. #

I had that book, I hated it. Probably because it was cracked in half and every time I picked it up half the pages flew out. So I didn't frequent it, therefore never noticed until you so kindly pointed out that Claud is wearing, in fact, a vest over a shirt, not a white shirt with a purple stripe (which clashes with her hat btw) as I always thought. Funky.
And yes... Stacey is a slut. See

by Stace on 2:49 AM. #

What's not to get? "But even so" means she misses her BF.

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