A Moment with Kim: Freaked Out Mexicans, College Clichés, Closets

You guys are hilarious (and that assessment is based on your comments alone -- I can't even imagine what it'd be like to get drunk together and perform dramatic reenactments of Important Fights in BSC History). Let's be friends forever, like the BSC spinoff series featuring ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHS on the book covers (I hope the orginal series' illustrator was fired for being so annoyingly inconsistent). I was done with Stoneybrook by the time the whole Friends Forever series started, but I do remember gaping at the books all 'what the hell is going on here, Martin?'* They did a decent job casting Claudia, I guess. I mean, check it out! She's on a disaster date! Been there, lady.

Anyway, commenter Stace raised an important point. Stick this in your peace pipe and smoke it:

Why did [Dawn] always have to be cool anyway? Like if a guy in a sombrero came running into a BSC meeting shooting at them, everyone would go into hysterics but Dawn, who would just sit there munching celery saying "A freaked out Mexican? Who hasn't seen one?"

I would've read that Super Special HARD.

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For someone who is so deeply entrenched in Hipster Studies (read: sometimes I go to Urban Outfitters and tally up all the Minnetonka-wearing customers), you'd think I'd be an avid McSweeney's reader. But I am merely a casual McSweeney's reader, so let's thank Scarlett for tweeting me the link to the greatest McSweeney's list of all time: Titles From The Baby-Sitters Club: The College Years Series.

They're great**. And I feel like that list could go on forever. My suggestions:

• Mary Anne and the Missed Period
• Abby and the Sex Ed Improv Group
• Stacey McGill, Sororstitute
• Dawn Hits the Bong
• Kristy and the Group Project From Hell
• Claudia's Shoplifting Secret

Again: I would read those books hard. Shit, I would write those books hard. Scholastic! Call me! I like to drop f-bombs and use the word awesome to describe just about everything!

In other words, I am supremely qualified.

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Sometimes people think its a good idea to let me talk about my clothes on the internet. Lemondrop.com's Closet Fever series features fashion bloggers talking about their favorite items of clothing. And I am one of those bloggers! Neat!

Things to note: Frye Carmen side zip boots I spent way too much on, Paris Hilton pose, vague semblance of a smile (I tried, really I did), shelving unit stocked with skinny jeans, Laine-approved amounts of black and grey closet items, tacky ring (as seen on greasy mobster stereotypes).

Check out the rest of the feature here. Julie: thanks for giving me another opportunity to wax poetic about Frye shoes.

In the interest of full shopping habit disclosure: I bought shoes recently. I know, I've been making all these claims about how I'm not shopping anymore because I need to look into this whole 'future' thing. But it's totally fine because these puppies are extremely practical. Okay, whatever, they're not.

* Once I was waiting at Goodwill for my boyfriend to finish his shift and I ended up reading Claudia Gets Her Guy to pass the time. I don't remember much about the story, but I do remember being pleasantly surprised by the lack of annoying child-centric subplots.

** Although the image of Claudia in those wretched VS PINK sweatpants that college chicks seem to love makes me die a little inside.

A Moment with. . . woah! Woman, What Are You Wearing?

Mrs. Obama*, what the heck are you doing? The only explanation for this is that you are a big Kishi fan (okay, there are probably other explanations, but I have a blog about The Kishi so there's a certain direction I need to take this, dig?) and you're rocking some sort of tribute ensemble. Maybe you got some BSC books for Malia and Sasha at a garage sale. You seem like the kind of down-to-earth woman who can still appreciate the lure of a good garage sale, even though you happen to be, oh, the First Lady. So perhaps you were reading the books together - I appreciate your hands-on parenting style, for real - and you found yourself admiring the panache of the Kishi. So you woke up one day and decided 'elegant sheath dresses be damned! I'm going to do this up Claudia-style!'

It happens to all of us. I had a phase where I thought skirts over jeans was a really clever idea (I will try to find photographic evidence later so everyone can point and laugh merrily). But, honestly and with all due respect, I don't think this is the best look for you.

If I start seeing earrings made from paper clips, we are going to have to have a TALK.

* relevant: the entry in which I photoshopped the President's head onto Kristy Thomas' body. I'm still pretty proud of that.

#82: Jessi and the Troublemaker

Breaking news: Jessi's hairstyle? A bun, adorned with a scrunchy. BREAKING NEWS, GUYS.

And I'm not even going to address the jeans.

"Stacey's sophistication shows up in the super-responsible and mature way in which she usually acts [book #83: Stacey vs. the BSC. Just sayin'.], but also in the way she dresses. We are pretty casually dressed at the BSC meetings, but even if Stacey is just wearing jeans like most of the rest of us, she goes one step further into cool [?]. For instance, today, when we were wearing sweaters and shirts [well, those both seem like logical choices, kid - do you want everyone else in leotards, too?], Stacey had on an oversized black sweater and a metallic gold t-shirt underneath. With her huge blue eyes and naturally dark lashes, and the shoulder length blonde hair that she keeps perfectly cut, she looked just like a model."

Jessi, what the hell: "But Claudia's sophistication and style are not big city. They're more artistic." The more I stare at this statement, the less sense it makes. Is it possible all the RL4 writing is rotting my brain? Also, why would 'big city' and 'artistic' be mutually exclusive?

Jessica Ramsey, you have so much to learn.
Which is logical, since you're 11.

"Claudia's style is unique. She doesn't often wear jeans, but she was wearing them today - only she'd cut patterns in the legs of the jeans (which were major faded) and was wearing leopard tights underneath so that they showed through. [I feel like we've all seen this on lookbook.nu.] She was wearing her Doc Martens with yellow shoelaces, and she'd used matching shoelaces to pull her hair back into a thick, long braid. Her earrings were a pair she made herself, out of little yellow feathers and black beads. And she was wearing a black and yellow striped flannel shirt buttoned up to her throat, with another pair of shoelaces made into a sort of bow tie."

BOW TIE.

(I hope season three of Gossip Girl brings us a scene in which Chuck Bass pulls open a drawer and it is just filled with, like, 100 bowties in perfect rows on some sort of custom-made bowtie organizer. They should be organized by color.)

Is Susie Bubble the Claudia-est Blogger of All?

There are a lot of ladies out there who are truly bringin' the heat in terms of personal style. I used to post to Wardrobe Remix on occasion (because my jeans are very fascinating), so I have some idea of the kind of work and dedication that goes into chronicling one's wardrobe choices. There's the awkward 'photoshoot' process (made waaay more awkward if you don't have a partner in crime or camera remote and are forced to rely on the ten second dash method), the time and effort that goes into editing and composing entries, and of course the chutzpah needed to share your style with the world.

Before sitting down to write this entry I told myself sternly that I need to refrain from stock terms such as 'fierce bitch' because not everyone finds said b-word endearing. (Hi Mom.) Is 'sassy wench' politically correct and socially acceptable? Whatever.

This is Susie Bubble. Seriously, look at her and her blatant disregard for the so-called "rules" of fashion! Claudia approves! Susie is a style blogger (stylebubble.co.uk) from the United Kingdom whose dedication to the world of fashion never fails to amaze me. She's got an amazing, eclectic sense of style that mixes high fashion with thrift, diy, and high street items. In addition to chronicling her own sartorial concoctions, Susie keeps us up to date with informative, thoughtful posts about current news in the fashion world. For many of us (including yours truly, who is completely overwhelmed by the study of haute couture and only recently found out how to correctly pronounce Yves Saint Laurent), fashion bloggers are the best possible resource when it comes to industry news. Susie does an amazing job, and I kinda want to hug her and tell her she's fabulous and then maybe try on her shoes.

Like our heroine, Susie isn't just a consumer - she's also a creator. She teamed up with Borders & Frontiers to create a gorgeous t-shirt available for purchase through the blog. If I wasn't currently trying desperately to refrain from expanding my wardrobe - it's hard - for the sake of my paltry bank account, I'd already own three.

Check out this entry, where she shows off the design on both white and grey backgrounds while making lots of cute faces. As if I didn't love her enough already, her affinity for heathered grey jersey tees makes me just about squeal with glee (I'm currently wearing one right now! With jeans! Shocking, I know!).

If you aren't already a fan, go check out the blog. Her link list alone could keep you busy for days. Susie, you rock. Thanks for breaking the mold and sharing your unique viewpoints with the world.

You can also follow Susie on twitter. Thankfully, though she and Claudia may share a willingness to experiment with crazy hats, Susie's got her basic spelling and grammar skills down. Seriously, can you imagine following Kishi on twitter? It'd be all "their is a emergancy meating 2day somthing about not enouf clients shut up kristy".

The Prodigal Blogger Returns*: Kristy's Worst Idea Revisited

Let's muse on this cover for awhile. Do you love my handwritten notes? Yeah you do. I'm about to get into some serious analysis, so I'll direct you to dibbly-fresh's gallery for a closer look [EDIT: just kidding, I didn't realize blogger would provide a link to the large version. Click the pic. Marvel at the fashion.]. Feel free to add your input, because caring too much about books you read as a prepubescent is a community effort. Let's hold hands and sing the theme song. (I remember being incredibly sad that my parents didn't have HBO. I was all BUT MOM THERE IS A BSC TV SERIES WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?)

Abby, sit down. You haven't even been in the Baby-sitter's Club long enough to have built up any righteous indignation. Sure, I like your grey skinnies (they look a little bagged out, I would recommend throwing them in the dryer) even though they look suspiciously acid-washy, like maybe Claudia let you accompany her on her latest trip to American Apparel**. But I hate your shirt. Sure, I'm the least sporty person probably in the history of the world and I really dislike baseball. That doesn't mean I'm biased (it actually does). The shirt really does suck and hits at a weird length. It needs to be longer. Or shorter. Something.

Mallory and Jessi, I'm sorry. I can tell this is really stressful for you both. With that said, enough with the ballerina hairstyles, Jessica. We get it. You're the most dedicated 11 year old in the history of dance. You get up at 5:00 a.m. to practice in your basement every day. Mallory, never wear those colors together ever again. And get yourself to Lenscrafters because those glasses are atrocious.

Stacey, this may be the least "New York" you've ever looked. This is substitute teacher wear, Miss I'm So Very Sophisticated. Next.

Kristy, you know I love you. Upon review of the series, it turns out that the whole 'big mouth' thing is just a euphemism for 'sarcastic, snarky, and generally kinda awesome'. That doesn't make me any more okay with this ensemble. I know, I really have no right to say anything, especially since I own like 4 pairs of the same Forever 21 skinny jeans (they were $12.50, okay?). But at least put on a necklace or something. Flip flops instead of clunky white sneakers. Anything.

Mary Anne, your hair doesn't look completely horrific here. It's actually kinda cute. I don't really have anything else to say about you. I guess maybe I could reiterate my general disdain for the color pink, but whatever. You wouldn't listen anyway.

Claudia, if fashion was a video game, you would have already defeated Bowser and rescued the princess. You're wearing pinstriped denim. You're a sassy train conductor. Your shirt is drapey and involves ruffles, not unlike the one I am wearing right now. You're wearing dangly earrings you probably made yourself while you should have been learning how to spell. Please shift positions so I can see your shoes. With regards to whatever you're yelling at Mary Anne about: you are totally justified and I am on your side. Call me later - we can go shopping and gripe about your fellow club members.

* Trust me, I'm still an internet junkie. I am updating my tumblr, albeit mostly with pictures of Mary Kate Olsen and insightful captions like "fabulous", "give me your closet", etc. I also use twitter to prattle on about myself (because what is twitter for, really, if not vapid navel gazing?), Gossip Girl, etc. I love twitter, it's all about 140 character morsels of sometimes-wit. Also I've been big on channeling 17 year old billionaires lately. I'm thinking about investing in some bow ties.
** You're selling scrunchies now? For 6 dollars a pop? Oh for pete's sake, Dov. Pull it together.

Shopping with Claudia: How Psyched Are You For Summer?

Yeah, me too. Today was ridiculously warm and summery and maxidress-worthy. (I know, maxidresses are a polarizing item, the topic of much debate. Personally, I love 'em. They're California Casual, guys! Totally Schafer-approved.) Since the shoe buying moratorium is still in place (I will admit to trying on a pair of Chloe knockoffs by Dolce Vita at T.J. Maxx today), I'll limit my seasonally-trigged shopping jones to window shopping at etsy.

Kishi-approved vintage (later in the series the ghostwriters started describing her as a thrift-store junkie, remember?) footwear below. Including a pair of ankle wrap sandals - you know how Claudia feels about shoes that lace up your calves.
Salina strappy sandals - size 10
Liz Wear fringe wrap sandals - size 6.5
Mixed Blues tricolor huraches - size 8.5
Pikolinos slingback sandals - size 7
Guijada handcarved clogs - size 9
Rieker laceup gladiators - size 6.5

Those purple Guijada heels . . . damn. Please, someone buy them and give them the love they deserve. They're amazing.

#67: Dawn's Big Move

Sweet fancy Moses! Look at all that fashion! Put it all on me!How could Dawn leave her best friends? Easily. And to answer the follow up question ("but why?"): probably because her California friends are way more interesting and don't cry at Hallmark commercials. She's ready to trade diaper changes for eating disorders, and I don't think we should judge her for that. But that's not really my point.

I don't have the book with me, but I can guarantee you that the plot is most likely "I miss sunshine it's frikkin' cold on the East Coast alright I'm outta here but I'll be back soon and then I'll leave again forever because I like toying with Mary Anne's emotions and that Ann M. Martin woman said something about my own spinoff series." So we're just going to look at the cover, which is awe-inspiring enough to deserve its own entry. (I mean, if you're willing to put up with all the shoe posts, you're probably willing to put up with just about anything. I plan to test this theory next week with a fascinating blog entry about proper use of the subjunctive*. Stay tuned! Riveting content ahead!)

Kristy is totally over the rest of these hos. At least, that's what I'm gleaning from her body language and facial expression. Her sneakers are clunky and blindingly white. Her jeans are baggy and, like, cornflower blue. Her neck is turtled. The only element of surprise here is the sweater. Would Kristy Thomas really wear a sweater adorned by a row of pink daisies? I call shenanigans.

Stacey thinks her poor man's prep school look is going to get her into Constance Billard. Listen Stacey, only one member at a time can flee this coop, and it is not your turn. You can drop the club later when you discover the joys of shoplifting, but best believe you will never be a Waldorf minion. No matter how pleated your skirts are.

Mary Anne is wearing some sort of pointy toe oxford or boot exactly like the ones I see on modern day male hipsters in frighteningly tight jeans. Her jeans are unremarkable. The shirt, however, raises all kinds of questions. What the hell is going on there? It's salmon, it's got a mandarin collar, and it's ornamented by puke splashes, like maybe she had an early a.m. babysitting job with a sickly child. Why didn't she go home and change? Why does she have the same haircut as Jonathan Taylor Thomas? Why do I care?

Dawn is tired of Texas Tuxedo Classic and is thusly choosing to mix it up by switching out her ill-fitting blue jeans for ill-fitting black jeans. She is also rocking that scrunchy. Totally tubular!

Our Heroine needs to consider wearing longer shirts with her leggings. But I'm a kind soul and I can forgive (unless you're Stacey). Especially since this outfit really sums up what The Kishi is all about: cowboy boots, wacky-ass patterns (her weapon in the war against normalcy!), side ponytails, and unattractive hats. (After extensive zooming, possibly also earrings the size of jar lids.) Work it out, girl. A+.

* Not really.
Photo credit: dibbly-fresh.