by Unknown on Sunday, December 07, 2008

A Moment with Kim: Trying to out-Claudia Claudia & Gettin' Misty

Hey, wanna look at my jewelry?

(This totally counts as an entry. )

Maybe if I'm feeling magnanimous I'll include some actual BSC-related content towards the end [POST ENTRY EDIT: Don't get excited, this doesn't happen], but - honestly - this is just penance for teasing you with updates and then returning to Negligent Blogger status. I have some work to do at the library tonight, so I should probably just admit to myself now that my workstyle is 50% productivity/50% playing around on the internet and bring #63: Claudia's Freind Friend with me. You will thank me later, Claudia even takes a moment to tell us her "closet rules." They include not wearing the same outfit twice, which I'm wondering how she manages on a babysitter's budget. Then again, I have spent the latter half of this year trapped inside a fashion spin cycle of LONG CARDIGANS ONLY PLEASE (bonus points for drape/scarf cardigans) and hence have not been all that creative with my rotation.

Do you guys do this, too? I mean, I have a closet and dresser full of clothes, but I'm only interested in wearing, oh, about 10 items. And then I get frustrated and donate bags of stuff to the Salvation Army and feel all self-satisfied ("around here our ambition throws a non-perishable item in a donation bin at Christmas / and it pats itself on the fucking back because it thinks it's done something decent" - Matthew Good, 21st Century Living) and THEN about two months later get all pissy at myself for donating the sweater that now I feel like I need desperately and can't live without.

Wait. We were talking jewelry, weren't we.

I mentioned that I am slowly morphing into Stacey McGill and will shortly leave the Babysitters Club to shoplift from Bellair's and get drunk at U4Me concerts. So why not try to redeem myself by showing you some rings and necklaces that are not tasteful, elegant, and totally New York Sophisticate? Also, I've recently "written" a Mental Entry (even though I am a Negligent Blogger, I do compose Mental Entries and then tend to forget their sheer genius by the time I am actually in front of a computer) ENTIRELY ABOUT SNAKE BRACELETS. Wait for it. It's gonna be legendary*.

I've also mentioned that I am a pretty predictable dresser these days. I mean, the jeans have always been predictable, although I am slowly filtering in some widelegs and flares (flares! I know!), because there are only so many days a week (11, by my count) that you can wear skinny jeans. But yeah, the cardigans. Oh, the cardigans, I love them so. At any rate, I redeem myself (at least, TO myself) by making sure that my shoes and jewelry, more often than not, is a little bit out there.

Of course, you may look at this stuff and be like "pssh. Where are the pipe cleaners? Where are the dollhouse chairs converted into earrings? Why do you only have one set of holes in your ears? Where are the telephone cord bracelets, for fuck's sake?" To that I say: whatever.
I'm not going to bother going through piece by piece and telling you origins and why this particular ring/necklace/set of earrings reflects the unique intricacies of my very soul (but they all do, trust me), because I understand that you probably don't really care that much. Instead I'll just drop a note or two.

Above we have my earrings. My collection is pretty small because there was about a decade in which I gave up on wearing earrings because my ears were so damn sensitive. I'm not sure if I'm getting more xhardcorex with age, but suddenly they don't really give me issues anymore. So I'm gleefully dangling miniature baskets of fruit and whatnot. My favorites are the beaded hoops & the silver feathers. And yeah, the cranberry-colored pendant earrings DO say peace around the edges and feature a heart/peace sign on the backsides. What of it? I am embracing my inner Dawn Schafer. And my pseudo-bohemian image involves jewelry featuring peace signs. I really want these earrings, but they're massively heavy and the catch is extremely difficult to work with. But they're fierce, right?Oh, rings. The bigger the better. Most of these are Forever 21 (I know, I know) and of the highest quality; they turn my fingers green within about two seconds of putting them on. But whatever, they're huge and tacky and that's a win in my book. I salivate over cocktail rings on eBay and etsy (I mean, LOOK at THIS) all the time. It is a huge gripe of mine that Target never thinks about the small-fingered people of the world: they always have fun rings which they only produce in sizes 7 and 8, which certainly does not help ME. Sigh.
Necklaces, my true love. Unfortunately, I got bored/didn't manage to get good pictures (I didn't photograph my bracelets, either), so maybe I'll try again another time. I would actually like to go through my necklaces piece by piece, because I have some very interesting vintage ones & I consider my taste in mass-produced pieces pretty awesome as well. Check out that peace sign necklace! It is the height of California Casual. No, just kidding, California Casual is SO CASUAL that it doesn't even involve jewelry. Just really baggy shit that sounds horribly unflattering.
Finally, before I stop torturing you with my jewelry collection, this is one of my favorite vintage pieces. Super long chain, antique gold finish, badass elephant head - what's not to love?

Okay, what's the verdict? Stacey or Claudia? (Please god, not Stacey.) Also, I will not apologize for the bad photography, because I cannot possibly convey what a piece of crap my camera - particularly the macro setting - is and I refuse to use flash because I HATE flash photography.

. . . . .

So, let's address "Gettin' Misty." The year's almost over and I can't tell you guys how fun you've made this project. I've said it before - probably 100 times over at this point - that I am absolutely flabbergasted at how well-received my silly little blog is (my inner journalism major dislikes this sentence structure, but my outer lazy blogger is like "dude, move on"). I am not very good at letting you guys know how much I appreciate you reading & linking & commenting & thinking I am funny (it's gotten hard for me to get my head through doorways), but DAMN KIDS! You make me smile.

Sometimes I think about what I will do with myself when[/if] I try to get one of those professional-type jobs I keep hearing so much about (apparently there are dress codes involved; Claudia does not approve). I bet they would not allow me to use so many parenthesis in my company memos. But I LOVE parenthesis! How could I compromise my parenthetical integrity for the sake of a soul-sucking corporate job in which I would probably be discouraged from wearing my Reese t-straps on the grounds that they look vaguely like the type of footwear you'd see on a 1970s streetwalker?

Here is how the job interview would go:

Interviewer: "So, tell me a little bit about your hobbies." [Yes, in my imaginary job interview, they ask about my hobbies. And then we play cat's cradle.]
Me: "Oh, man, I have been WAITING for this! I am so prepared, you're going to be impressed like woah. So, I have this blog, right? But it's not a normal blog, because I am not really that interesting [Ego: yes I am], even though I force them to read inane ramblings all the time that have nothing to do with anything, really. That doesn't mean I'm not a focused and determined individual, sir. Anyway, this blog is about the Babysitters Club. Did you read those books? Probably not, you're a little too old - sorry, sir - and most guys didn't anyway except for SO@24 and that hardly counts because he's really cool - I mean, boys who write are totally hot, seriously - not like one of those regular guys you see in the UMass sweatshirts who are too busy stocking up on Coors Light to appreciate the high class and culture of re-reading books that were below your grade level when you were six. But I digress! I do that a lot, but trust me sir I am VERY FOCUSED. So it's, like, a fashion blog kinda, and to sum up it's really great and I often use it to poke fun at American Apparel. Although technically I DO link to their items so I guess you COULD say that there's a minute possibility that I'm actually influencing a purchase**. I mean, yeah, you got me, I own three of those acid wash deep v tees. But I got them on eBay for a fraction of the price! I don't support Dov Charney, sir. Have you read about him? He is such a perv, really. I mean, just look at the photoshoots; those girls have clearly been drugged. Why are they so eager to show off their vaginas? Am I just a prude? Are you allowed to say 'vagina' in a job interview? Anyway, those shirts are intense. I read the reviews and everyone's like 'these shirts are hard to wear with a bra' but I'm like, how could you NOT wear them with a bra? They are dangerous low. But they are really flattering and even manage to make a flat-chested young lady like myself - I saw you noticing, sir, and I hope this isn't a factor in your hiring decision, that secretary out front was pretty, uh, chesty - look fairly, um, let's just say chesty again, but there does have to be underwire involved. And sometimes padding."
Interviewer: " . . . "
Me: "So! Did I get the job?"

* Mildly entertaining.
Doubtful. I mean, I do consider myself to be an arbiter of taste. But not that arbit-y.


Every little thing you do is magic.
You have fantastic taste in shoes. I should know, I work in a shoes shop.


by Domesticated on 8:01 PM. #

My ears also became magically xhardcorex. Still though, I like the idea of earrings more than actually wearing them.

That shit with the interviewer was high-larious.

by Whitney on 9:06 PM. #

Fried effing gold. I am still lulzing like mad over the interview. And the fact that YOU ARE BECOME STACEY MCGILL. OH YEAH. That's what happens when you dis my girl. YOU BECOME HER.

I mentioned that I am slowly morphing into Stacey McGill and will shortly leave the Babysitters Club to shoplift from Bellair's and get drunk at U4Me concerts.

*dies* That cover was so awesome too. All her rowdy friends standing on chairs at the concert and Stacey looking so cleancut tentatively clapping her hands. Lulz.

That cover was not as awesomea s this post though.

But seriously, the verdict. You are actually not Stacey or Claudia.


Or maybe you are just Kim who pwns them all. <3

by courtney on 10:15 PM. #

Well, now I am lusting after those deep-v shirts.

I'll canvass ebay for a while.

Also, your blog is hilarious, I would totally hire you, and I am way jealous of your elephant head necklace.


by saratogajean on 10:31 AM. #

Your blog is beyond awesome, I absolutely love it when you post!

& you are totally more Claudia, jewelry wise anyway :).

by Britas on 12:13 PM. #

I'm getting choked up here.

by So@24 on 2:48 PM. #

I didn't know you liked Matthew Good. Have you seen this book about him?

by tnk on 7:40 PM. #

Just found your blog and it's basically my favorite thing of all time. When my parents wanted to give away my 150+ BSC book collection, I refused and boxed it up, labeling it "Schoolwork" because I knew they wouldn't touch that.

Oh, and you're def Claudia :)

by K on 5:55 AM. #

you can still save yourself, you know! you just have to wear one of these:

or actually, any of the other accessories... particularly the feather duster earrings.

by maebytonight on 4:10 PM. #

the other secret place for the best cocktail rings on the cheap is off of hsn's website where janice dickenson and tori spelling design classy things.

by francine on 6:32 PM. #

If it makes you more optimistic, I work in a, how'd you put it, "soul-sucking corporate job" and I wear totally inappropriate clothing every day. Who said gaudy cocktail rings shouldn't go with a hard hat and steel toed boots? Have hope you too will find a semi-professional job that tolerates your unique fashion sense.

by linda on 1:26 PM. #

It's kind of funny - I read this post a few days ago, and decided to analyze my own jewelry box, which made me realize that Claudia-jewelry is sorely missing from my life. So today while I was Christmas shopping, I ran across something that Claudia herself had described. Red light bulb earrings that actually blink on and off. $3, so not great for sensitive ears, but they're so dibbly fresh that it's worth it.

And a hint on cocktail rings: If you happen to know of anyone who's going on a cruise sometime soon, ask them to look for Tara Vanessa rings in the ship's gift shop. They run about $10 each, come in all sizes, and don't turn your fingers green. I haven't found anywhere online that sells them, though.

by Ang on 1:17 AM. #

This made me laugh, not only because of the hilariosity (yeah, Google it*) peppered throughout the post, but because when I was younger (10-11) I totally wore Claudia jewelry!
Earrings that looked like flip-flops, parrots, forks and plates, stick was my thang, you know?
My current jewelry collection is a bit more subtle, and kind of looks like yours!
*tell me what you find, because that is SO not a word.

by Tamia on 7:33 PM. #

so I stumbled across your blog a couple of days ago, and read almost every entry (pausing occasionally to guffaw and read certain excerpts aloud to my older sister) You are among the funniest people alive! You should work for VH1 on their "Awesomely Bad" shows, or "I love the..." series' :)

by tuscanb on 9:27 PM. #

I just discovered your blog and am officially obsessed... my second-to-last day at work will now be spent reading (and re-living) every entry. Such sense memory!

By the way, I seem to recall Dawn and the Older Boy including some pretty sweet ensembles... namely Travis' high school aged girlfriend who wore a lot of flight suits.

Thank you for bringing back such memories!

by Kim on 3:38 PM. #

More posts, please! :)

by ETP on 5:00 PM. #

I have tiny fingers too, so I can usually only wear rings on my thumbs. I got the gaudiest, tackiest class ring my senior year, and I still wear that bitch on my thumb because it's so stupid.

by Rachael on 5:48 PM. #

I laughed so hard.... I think I may have fallen off my chair and blamed it on the faulty chair..


1. Claudia for sure.

2. Necklaces are my 'thing' as well. See my post about my jewellery box here.

3. That imaginary interviewer conversation is amazing. I cannot imagine what I'd do with a potential candidate who told me that. Maybe tell her it's time for some Cat's Cradle.

Fabulously Broke in the City

"Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver."

by Fabulously Broke on 12:38 PM. #

Love ur super cool collections.. especially the bracelets ! awesome!

by Gracelyne on 3:19 AM. #

ok I mostly skimmed this post/your blog, but I have some advice: you can keep your fingers from getting greeny and still wear your little fancies if you put a layer of clear nail polish over the inside of each ring. That way none of that cheap ass metal is touching your skin.

by Alicia on 11:25 AM. #

can you share a post about Shoe Shop I am sure you will get good response on shoe shop

by Skechers on 4:52 AM. #

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