by Unknown on Sunday, June 21, 2009

A Moment with Kim: Freaked Out Mexicans, College Clichés, Closets

You guys are hilarious (and that assessment is based on your comments alone -- I can't even imagine what it'd be like to get drunk together and perform dramatic reenactments of Important Fights in BSC History). Let's be friends forever, like the BSC spinoff series featuring ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHS on the book covers (I hope the orginal series' illustrator was fired for being so annoyingly inconsistent). I was done with Stoneybrook by the time the whole Friends Forever series started, but I do remember gaping at the books all 'what the hell is going on here, Martin?'* They did a decent job casting Claudia, I guess. I mean, check it out! She's on a disaster date! Been there, lady.

Anyway, commenter Stace raised an important point. Stick this in your peace pipe and smoke it:

Why did [Dawn] always have to be cool anyway? Like if a guy in a sombrero came running into a BSC meeting shooting at them, everyone would go into hysterics but Dawn, who would just sit there munching celery saying "A freaked out Mexican? Who hasn't seen one?"
I would've read that Super Special HARD.

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For someone who is so deeply entrenched in Hipster Studies (read: sometimes I go to Urban Outfitters and tally up all the Minnetonka-wearing customers), you'd think I'd be an avid McSweeney's reader. But I am merely a casual McSweeney's reader, so let's thank Scarlett for tweeting me the link to the greatest McSweeney's list of all time: Titles From The Baby-Sitters Club: The College Years Series.

They're great**. And I feel like that list could go on forever. My suggestions:

  • Mary Anne and the Missed Period
  • Abby and the Sex Ed Improv Group
  • Stacey McGill, Sororstitute
  • Dawn Hits the Bong
  • Kristy and the Group Project From Hell
  • Claudia's Shoplifting Secret
Again: I would read those books hard. Shit, I would write those books hard. Scholastic! Call me! I like to drop f-bombs and use the word awesome to describe just about everything!

In other words, I am supremely qualified.

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Sometimes people think its a good idea to let me talk about my clothes on the internet. Lemondrop.com's Closet Fever series features fashion bloggers talking about their favorite items of clothing. And I am one of those bloggers! Neat!

Things to note: Frye Carmen side zip boots I spent way too much on, Paris Hilton pose, vague semblance of a smile (I tried, really I did), shelving unit stocked with skinny jeans, Laine-approved amounts of black and grey closet items, tacky ring (as seen on greasy mobster stereotypes).

Check out the rest of the feature here. Julie: thanks for giving me another opportunity to wax poetic about Frye shoes.

In the interest of full shopping habit disclosure: I bought shoes recently. I know, I've been making all these claims about how I'm not shopping anymore because I need to look into this whole 'future' thing. But it's totally fine because these puppies are extremely practical. Okay, whatever, they're not.

* Once I was waiting at Goodwill for my boyfriend to finish his shift and I ended up reading Claudia Gets Her Guy to pass the time. I don't remember much about the story, but I do remember being pleasantly surprised by the lack of annoying child-centric subplots.
** Although the image of Claudia in those wretched VS PINK sweatpants that college chicks seem to love makes me die a little inside.

by Unknown on Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A Moment with. . . woah! Woman, What Are You Wearing?

Mrs. Obama*, what the heck are you doing? The only explanation for this is that you are a big Kishi fan (okay, there are probably other explanations, but I have a blog about The Kishi so there's a certain direction I need to take this, dig?) and you're rocking some sort of tribute ensemble. Maybe you got some BSC books for Malia and Sasha at a garage sale. You seem like the kind of down-to-earth woman who can still appreciate the lure of a good garage sale, even though you happen to be, oh, the First Lady. So perhaps you were reading the books together - I appreciate your hands-on parenting style, for real - and you found yourself admiring the panache of the Kishi. So you woke up one day and decided 'elegant sheath dresses be damned! I'm going to do this up Claudia-style!'

It happens to all of us. I had a phase where I thought skirts over jeans was a really clever idea (I will try to find photographic evidence later so everyone can point and laugh merrily). But, honestly and with all due respect, I don't think this is the best look for you.

If I start seeing earrings made from paper clips, we are going to have to have a TALK.

* relevant: the entry in which I photoshopped the President's head onto Kristy Thomas' body. I'm still pretty proud of that.

by Unknown on Tuesday, June 02, 2009

#82: Jessi and the Troublemaker

Breaking news: Jessi's hairstyle? A bun, adorned with a scrunchy. BREAKING NEWS, GUYS.

And I'm not even going to address the jeans.

"Stacey's sophistication shows up in the super-responsible and mature way in which she usually acts [book #83: Stacey vs. the BSC. Just sayin'.], but also in the way she dresses. We are pretty casually dressed at the BSC meetings, but even if Stacey is just wearing jeans like most of the rest of us, she goes one step further into cool [?]. For instance, today, when we were wearing sweaters and shirts [well, those both seem like logical choices, kid - do you want everyone else in leotards, too?], Stacey had on an oversized black sweater and a metallic gold t-shirt underneath. With her huge blue eyes and naturally dark lashes, and the shoulder length blonde hair that she keeps perfectly cut, she looked just like a model."

Jessi, what the hell: "But Claudia's sophistication and style are not big city. They're more artistic." The more I stare at this statement, the less sense it makes. Is it possible all the RL4 writing is rotting my brain? Also, why would 'big city' and 'artistic' be mutually exclusive?

Jessica Ramsey, you have so much to learn.
Which is logical, since you're 11.

"Claudia's style is unique. She doesn't often wear jeans, but she was wearing them today - only she'd cut patterns in the legs of the jeans (which were major faded) and was wearing leopard tights underneath so that they showed through. [I feel like we've all seen this on lookbook.nu.] She was wearing her Doc Martens with yellow shoelaces, and she'd used matching shoelaces to pull her hair back into a thick, long braid. Her earrings were a pair she made herself, out of little yellow feathers and black beads. And she was wearing a black and yellow striped flannel shirt buttoned up to her throat, with another pair of shoelaces made into a sort of bow tie."

BOW TIE.

(I hope season three of Gossip Girl brings us a scene in which Chuck Bass pulls open a drawer and it is just filled with, like, 100 bowties in perfect rows on some sort of custom-made bowtie organizer. They should be organized by color.)