#83: Stacey vs. the BSC
In this corner: your friends! Say hello to them!
And in this corner: the most sophisticated damn teenager to ever grace the state of Connecticut! She wears turquoise wool slacks, people!
I was very moved by this book back in 1995. I mean, secretly moved. Because there was no way you could've gotten me to publicly admit that I read it. I was all "wow. This is truly the end of an era." This book was my Kennedy assassination. Devastating.
So, yeah, Stacey quit. And/or was fired, depending on which fictional character you're siding with. Annnnnd then she rejoined the club four books later. What a drama queen. Oh, and then Dawn jetted off to California one book after that! And then Abby showed up out of nowhere, like the unwelcome reappearance of Angelina "Trash Bags" Pivarnick on the Jersey Shore reunion special.
Lotta turnover for the BSC in such a short span of time. Also, how pissed am I that Trash Bags is back for season 2? She's gonna have to beat up the beat pretty damn hard to win me over. (I'm sure she's concerned.)
"Anyway, Claudia the Chocoholic is thin, blemish-free, and stunning. She's Japanese-American, with gorgeous jet-black hair and almond-shaped eyes. And her outfits are as abstract as her paintings. That day, for example, she was wearing this super-baggy men's shirt that must have once belonged to a sumo wrestler, enormous light wool black trousers gathered at the waist with a silken sash, and old work boots. Her hair was pulled back with a barrette in the shape of a set of teeth. Very original, very cool."
Kishi, Lady Gaga would like to know if she can borrow your teeth barrette. Also, Claudia is so damn fashion forward. Replace the work boots with a pair of YSL pumps, and this is an outfit straight out of Karla's Closet. (Maybe minus the teeth barrette.)
"My mom raced into my bedroom, holding a pair of crisp, turquoise, light-wool slacks. 'Here they are!'"
See. Told ya. I bet you don't wear crisp turquoise light-wool slacks on your dates. That's because you're not sophisticated like Stacey. Sorry.