by Unknown on Monday, September 20, 2010

#68: Jessi and the Bad Baby-sitter

This book should be called Jessi and the Bad Baby-sitter and Also the Hilarious Baby-sitter. The Hilarious Baby-sitter is Kristy. But first, a Claudia outfit.

"For example, today she was wearing an oversized white shirt under a black vest covered with a design of shiny beads. (She sewed the beads on it herself.) She wore neon green leggings and black ballet slippers (on which she'd sewn a matching bead design). From one of her pierced ears hung a dangling earring made from the same beads and on the other ear she wore a small green hoop earring. It was an original look that only Claudia could make work."

I've realized that my tendency to overuse parentheses is a direct result of reading too many BSC books as a child. My college professors couldn't even beat it out of me; that's how ingrained in my psyche these damn books are. I may need professional help.

So that's about it for fashion. On a positive note, the folks at Scholastic must've been having a grand ol' time (read: they'd been drinking) when they put this book together, because it is full of hilarity. Except for the b plot about Margo Pike shoplifting troll dolls, but in hindsight that's unintentionally hilarious, too. Come on, Margo. A ring with a troll doll on it? Dream bigger.

Kristy Has A Flair For The Dramatic:
"Kristy was right beside me so I handed her the phone.

That might have been a mistake.

'Dawn, you have to come home, like, right away,' she said urgently into the phone. 'No, I'm not kidding. We're in a mess here and we need you back.'

'You're going to make her feel bad,' said Mary Anne, reaching out to take the phone from Kristy.

Kristy turned away from Mary Anne, still talking into the phone. 'Yes, that was Mary Anne. . . . No, you can't talk to her until you swear you'll come back right away.'

Mary Anne reached around and scooped the phone out of Kristy's hand. 'Don't pay attention to her,' she told Dawn. 'We're doing all right.'

'No, we're not!' Kristy shouted into the mouthpiece."

No wonder she got the role of Peter Pan. BSC President, master thespian . . . is there anything she can't do? (Besides walk in heels, that is.)

Kristy Might As Well Take Over Writing This Blog:
"'Dawn!' she screamed excitedly. We could hear her all the way down in the living room. Instantly we thundered up the stairs to join in on the phone call.

'We just finished watching your video,' Claudia was telling her as we ran into the room. 'It was great!' Claudia cupped her hand around the phone and turned to us. 'It's Dawn.'

'Duh,' said Kristy."

I should be taking notes from this bitch. Snark doesn't have to be wordy. Sometimes a simple yet eloquent "duh" will suffice. Point taken, Thomas. Point taken.

20 comments

So THAT's where my compulsive overuse of parentheses came from. This may be your most enlightening entry yet.

by Clare on 3:39 PM. #

Yeah, I'm with you on the parenthesis too!!! Also, when I went to a writing workshop as a kid, the teacher told us that parentheses were a way for the author to tell a secret to the readers.

by fornow on 3:42 PM. #

"I've realized that my tendency to overuse parentheses is a direct result of reading too many BSC books as a child."

Holy crap, you're right!! (I do the same thing.)

by Alicia on 4:13 PM. #

Parentheses, and also inappropriate capital letters to illustrate Disgusting Lunch Options Like the Meatloaf Surprise

by winstonegbert on 5:34 PM. #

Suddenly all those Dawn/Kristy fanfics make sense.

by HelenB on 6:54 PM. #

Interesting point re the parenthesis ... I wonder if that's where my overuse originated also! (Of course, once I went to law school I moved from overusing parenthesis to overusing footnotes, but that's another story.)

by perkytoafault on 7:01 PM. #

Seriously, lightbulbs across the nation are going off due to your parenthesis point. Duly noted. Also, Kristy definitely has her moments of hilarity. Love it!

Robyn

by Robyn on 9:43 PM. #

Hrm Claudia really seems to love the whole vest+shirt+leggings combo...

by E N T R O P I F I C U S on 12:30 AM. #

first mary anne's haircut, now the parentheses. someone should write a thesis on the long-term effects of reading BSC books....

by Ali on 4:42 AM. #

Really glad to hear I'm not alone in suffering from PBPD (Post-BSC Parenthetical Disorder (Oh my lord what am I doing (I can't stop.))).

by Kim on 9:42 AM. #

SHOPLIFTING TROLL DOLLS? That should have been the A plot. (And can you tell me where my compulsive use of caps-for-emphasis comes from?)

by Sada on 5:23 PM. #

whomg... a friend just posted this on her facebook and i thought of your blog (which i randomly found months and months ago and LOVE btw)... enjoy!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-frenemy/the-babysitters-club-wher_b_718510.html

by unejoliechose on 6:07 PM. #

LOL @parentheses! HA.
@unejoliechose, that huffington post page is awesome! I found another BSC-where-are-they-now thing on facebook, its a crossover with Sweet Valley High and fricken hilarious!
http://winstonegbert.wordpress.com/

by SomethingaboutStacey on 3:45 AM. #

Oh man. ME TOO on the parentheses thing.

by Melissa on 9:30 AM. #

OH. MY. GOD. I have NEVER associated my overuse of parentheses with The Babysitters Club. Seriously, I'm writing a dissertation, and I love me some parentheses. Ann M. Martin/ghostwriters, you just might be my academic undoing. Curse you.

Plus, a good number of my precious brain cells are occupied by remembering each of the Pike kid's weird idiosyncrasies. That can't help.

by Alli (One Pearl Button) on 10:00 PM. #

Okay, now if you can just tell me where my over use of ellipses comes from... ;)

by LissaTSM on 3:58 PM. #

OMG. That must be where MY overuse of parentheses comes from. I never realized that until just now!! Thank you for bringing it to my attention!!! LOL

by Lauren on 6:35 AM. #

Nothing wrong with parentheses (they're Fab).

by Libellule on 1:03 AM. #

I ALWAYS over use parentheses. Perhaps a major dose of BSC during my formative years is the reason for that...

by Rachel Valentine on 7:45 PM. #

Leave your comment