by Unknown on Saturday, February 28, 2009

A Moment with Kim: This Outfit Can Be Un-Fugged (and Claudia Approves!)

I was mindin' my own business, clicking around my google reader, when I saw this fugging. It is a near epic fug (on a positive note, you gotta give it up for Love-Hewitt's gorgeous hair). And yet - I understand if we can't be friends anymore because of this statement, but I'll really miss your company and would like you to know that I've treasured our time together - I kind of love it. And I think it can be redeemed, as indicated by the title of this post.

Man. That is beautiful. I can't even glance at this picture without becoming absolutely transfixed by the afghan/poncho/cardigan. It is so befuddling, and - maybe because it's so damn befuddling - I find myself wanting one. Claudia and I had to have a serious meeting to unpack our feelings about this ensemble. We made it through an entire can of Pringles and a bag of Hershey's Kisses before coming up with a solution.

Let me take you through the redemption process, step by step (this will involve some visualization on your part).

  • Obviously, the first step is to burn the Louis Vuitton.
  • Trade the white long-sleeved tee shirt in for a black version. That poncho-thing is a (textbook example of a) statement piece, and I think it would pop better against a black background.
  • Take the poncho-thing's hemline up about a foot.
  • I'm not super into the idea of "fashion rules" (I combine neutrals a lot, for one thing) but I do think this outfit makes a solid case for the theory that if you're wearing loose/flowy/oversized on top, you should be wearing something more streamlined on the bottom. Trade the ill-fitting flares for skinny jeans.
  • Add heels. My suggestions (based mostly on the concept of 'I would wear these, so why shouldn't you? And J. Love-Hew.? Even Cindy-Lou Who?'): 1. Check's in the Mail 2. On the Wire 3. Agatha 4. Marta 5. Fontane
  • Commence being awesome.

Anyone with me on this?

(Photo credit: FlynetOnline.com and Go Fug Yourself)

by Unknown on Sunday, February 15, 2009

A Moment with Kim: The Answer to M.I.A.'s 'Where Were You in '92' Query

Maybe you were not aware that nine year old Kim was pretty serious about BSC-inspired fashion.
Maybe you are a fool.

I posted this picture on my facebook a while back and one of my friends commented "do you wish you still had that skirt?". Damn straight I do! And check out that beaded fringe. It's all about the details, guys.

Shortly after this photo was taken (perhaps mere minutes!) I entered my awkward phase, which lasted approximately a decade.

by Unknown on Saturday, February 07, 2009

Super Mystery #1: Baby-sitters' Haunted House

So this isn't a full entry. There are plenty of fashionable hijinks in this particular masterpiece, though - I do plan on revisiting it. Plus, Claudia spends the entire book getting hit on by some guy my age (slight exaggeration), so good for her. But we'll cover that ground later. Let's limit our focus to the cover for now, because holy Urban Outfitters, Batman.


Are you feeling me on this?

Ignore Dawn and Kristy - they're both beyond redemption. I mean, Dawn is following Claudia's lead and borrowing shirts from Mr. Kishi's closet, but she's also borrowing his shorts. (I see no other explanation for the khaki monstrosities she's sporting.) And the socks! Kristy's in the summer version of her uniform, having swapped out the turtleneck-sweater combo for a nondescript red t-shirt she certainly didn't get at Hipster Paradise.

However. Check out MA! You know the folks over at Urban love a good vest. They probably wouldn't combine it with that particular t-shirt unless it was, like, Charlotte Ronson approved, but whatever. Cut a couple inches off those shorts - and maybe hit them up with some bleach - and they'd totally be Rumi approved. (This is not a knock on Rumi, she's all sorts of fierce.)

You'll also note that both MA and Claud are wearing sandals that would not be out of place in the UO catalog. Claudia herself looks like she just stepped out of one of their editorials. Except maybe she should look more morose, and perhaps the UO stylists are not into side ponytails the way our girl is.

Also, while I was scouring UO's site for evidence to support this theory, I ran across these and I'm pretty sure you should buy them for me. I saw them in person when I was visiting my friend Joe in Brooklyn, and I was all "Joe! Look at these shoes! I love them!" and he was all "hmm, that's nice." He's very tolerant, but how excited is a straight male really going to get over a pair of grey booties?

(As is the case with most book covers I post, credit to the dibbly-fresh gallery for enabling my laziness.)

by Unknown on Wednesday, February 04, 2009

#63: Claudia's Freind Friend

Man, I gotta figure out my winter footwear situation. Yesterday I made the mistake of wearing my campus boots, which have no traction whatsoever. I slid around a lot and stumbled/half-fell while trying to scale the rock-hard lump of snow and ice between the sidewalk and the bus. So this morning I was all "well, I won't repeat THAT mistake!" and decided to wear a pair of Doc Martens. On my walk to the bus stop, I realized they weren't much better than the campus boots. "Be careful getting on the bus, self," I warned.

I never listen to me.

Yeah, I fell. And not a little bit. I nearly slid all the way under the damn bus. (And I lost my hat, which I didn't realize until I got to work. I'm bummed - it was a cute knitted hipster-beret from h&m and it was the perfect shade of rust orange.) Some people, after suffering such a humiliation, would probably put it out of their mind and try not to think about it. I, on the other hand, whipped out my phone and started texting people about my grace, elegance, and snow-covered ass. And now I'm blogging about it.

Maybe later I will perform some dramatic reenactments.

This would never happen to Claudia . . . but if it did she'd probably make a collage about it.

"I guess you could say I am a student of fashion, too. I like clothes: colors, textures, surprises. (Which makes me a sort of ongoing work of art, I guess.) But I do think I have a unique style, and a good one, too. In fact (although this may sound conceited [you've earned it, no worries]), except for one other person at SMS, I think I am the fashion czar, or czarina, or whatever. This other person is Stacey, who is my best friend and the treasurer of the Baby-sitters Club."

There's no competition, Claud.

"I jumped down the last two front steps of the school and landed by Stacey.

She gave me a sideways glance and then said, 'If I got a pair of purple high-tops, could I do that?'

'Only if you have ankle socks with lavender lace trim.'"

Did your mom make you wear ankle socks with lace trim? Mine did.

"I was giggling at the memory of the perfume disaster* when Kristy said, 'Dress up? What do you mean, dress up?' Kristy is a full-fledged tomboy, and a dedicated casual dresser. She almost always wears jeans, a turtleneck shirt, and sneakers.

I looked thoughtful.

'Well, I was thinking of a long dress, some high heels, maybe doing something really special with my hair.' [More special than the Pebbles ponytail?]

Stacey caught on right away.

'Excellent idea, Claudia. I've got a terrific three-quarter length ballerina skirt and this cool crop top jacket.' [Oh you do, do you?]

'Skirts! Heels! I was thinking maybe a special shirt to go with my good jeans.'

Kristy, our fearless BSC president, looked so alarmed that we couldn't help ourselves, and we started laughing. After a moment, she laughed, too.

'You got me,' she admitted**."

What Claudia wore to babysit the Rodowsky kids: "basic jeans and big old shirt. It's my spill-proof, accident-proof outfit, and when you baby-sit for Jackie . . . that kind of fashion planning is key."

Nannie Thomas is supa fly: "Nannie was wearing a pink silk dress with a wide twisted silver and pink sash, sparkly silvery earrings, and these really cool flat pale silver slippers."

"On Saturday afternoon I stood in my closet, staring at my clothes. Normally, I don't mind being in the closet. [Neither does Zac Efron.] But the usual closet rules that make it interesting - avoid wearing the exact same outfit twice [Adult Claudia probably has a lot of credit card debt], be outrageous [truly, truly, truly outrageous], and look cool AND terrific - didn't exactly apply today."

I wonder what Claudia's rules say about falling over in front of a bunch of strangers. I tried my best to look cool AND terrific.

* Reference to the Shadow Lake trip - Karen and company doused themselves with (quote) "Lovely Lady perfume", basically smelling up the entire lake with Eau de Baby Prostitute. God, Karen was so annoying. Even as an 8 year old I could recognize that she was a total pain in the ass.

** Ghostwriter missed an opportunity here: Kristy spent the rest of the chapter contemplating revenge. No one 'gets' Kristy Thomas!