If there's anything Claudia loved (besides Mallomars and Cracker Jacks), it was sneakers. At least in some of the books. I think later on in the series they stopped referencing her sneaker collection. The ghostwriters were more into Doc Martens, or something. As an incredibly un-sporty kid (and equally un-sporty adult, unless marathoning American Horror Story: Coven counts as endurance training), I was always kind of perplexed at how Claudia could be so into the most offensive footwear of all.
But even my clumsy, unathletic self has to admit that Claudia's 2013 sneaker game would be pretty on point.
I wonder if she ever had a pair of BK Knights. You know you remember those.
I am posting this on Thanksgiving for those of you who need to escape to your bathrooms and scan blogs on your iPhone because you can't stand another damn minute of holiday family time. You're welcome.
Outfit #1: The Post-modernist Pumpkin vs. The Banana Republic Kishis
"I was wearing autumn colors: red, orange, yellow. I liked the effect I'd created. It was sort of post-modernist pumpkin.
Now, where was I? Oh. Right. My autumn fashion colors. I'd put on a pair of baggy pants, not blue, not black, but yellow. With these I was wearing my red Doc Martens, laced with orange and yellow laces, and this great, funky, enormous shirt that I found in a vintage clothes shop. It has a leaf pattern on it. The leaves are in a Hawaiian print design, and the colors are fabulous. Underneath I was wearing my red and yellow tie-dyed long underwear shirt. To complete the ensemble, I had on earrings that I'd made myself, shaped like pumpkins, and a fringed yellow-and-white scarf tied around my hair.
I looked (I modestly admit) pretty great. I did not look as if I belonged with the other three people sitting at the table. My mom wore a tailored navy dress with little pearl earrings. My father was wearing a navy pinstripe suit (the jacket was hanging on the back of his chair). Janine was practically a rainbow by comparison: She was dressed in a navy wool skirt and a navy v-neck sweater over a pink oxford shirt."
Outfit #2: This Is Clearly The Ensemble of a Fifty Year Old Divorcee
That's because, like me, Stacey has a style of her own. But while mine is Kishi original, hers is New York sophisticated. She was wearing an oversized midnight blue turtleneck under a cropped black wool jacket with square gold buttons. She had on black suede ankle boots, the kind that wrinkle around your ankles. Her fitted black jeans were tucked into the tops of the boots. She had looped a light blue muffler around her neck and wore matching gloves.
Outfit #3: Poor Mallory, Part 457
Mal is medium height and sturdy and has shoulder length, reddish brown hair and a faint dusting of freckles on very pale skin. She's a jeans and sweatshirt person, which is what she was wearing today over a red checked flannel shirt. She looked as if she were ready to go horseback riding. Since Mal loves horses, it was a good look for her.
Outfit #4: Hold Up -- Jessi's a Dancer?
She often wears her dark hair pulled back into a ballerina's bun, as it was that morning. She had on a purple leotard with her jeans, and a big fuzzy lavender cardigan sweater.
Outfit #5: How to Look Artistic Yet Responsible, Apparently
I want to point out, though, that I was a very well-dressed graffiti artist/protestor. Just for the occasion, I was wearing my rainbow-colored crinkle gauze skirt, my crocheted vest with the matching hat, and my silver earrings (designed by me, of course). I felt that I looked artistic, yet responsible. And of course my button, with the bright red writing on it, added the finishing touch.
If this doesn't bring you back, you and I were NOT watching the same video cassettes in the 90s. Check the source for more BSC gif sets, including Kristy's first monologue of the series. I can still hear the actress' smirky tone during that line about loving animals and "sitting for Little Miss Piggy." Line read of the century tbh.
Also, please note: Claudia hung her neon yellow sunglasses from her hoop earrings so she could more easily access her snacks. So inspiring.
I am about to turn 30*. What better time could there be to reflect on the important literature I was reading a decade and a half ago? This is adulting, people. Forget figuring out your 401k: real adult behavior is tracking down as many early Sweet Valley University books as you possibly can, and nearly weeping with joy over their trashy perfection.
I mean, there’s implied sex in these books. Drugs. Sociopaths obsessed with Elizabeth Wakefield. Although I guess you’d be hard pressed to find a Sweet Valley series that DIDN’T have sociopaths obsessed with Elizabeth Wakefield. Maybe the one where they’re seven and in second grade, but I wouldn’t bet my apartment on it.
In case you don’t remember this amazing series, a few highlights (not in order, ‘cause who can keep all this nonsense straight?**) from the first ten books:
- Elizabeth gets ‘fat’. Fat just means that she gains, oh, twenty pounds, but the entire campus reacts as though she’s morbidly obese, and of course once she puts her mind to it the pounds magically go away.
- Jessica becomes a waitress. Hilarity ensues.
- Enid changes her name to Alex and becomes an alcoholic.
- Todd and Elizabeth break up. He also becomes an alcoholic.
- It’s never clear how all these 18 year olds are getting so much booze so easily. I guess it’s like Dillon Texas, where 15 year old football players are more than welcome at every bar in town.
- Elizabeth is nearly murdered. Multiple times.
- Jessica gets married. The marriage eventually gets annulled.
- Lila gets married to an Italian count. The marriage ends in a fatal jet ski accident.***
- Elizabeth has a crazy Southern roommate who seduces a biology student and gets him to release a ton of fruit flies in Elizabeth and Jessica’s dorm room. By the time this happens, they’re both so immune to the insanity of their lives that they’re like ‘oh, look, fruit flies.’
- Winston gets assigned to a girls dorm and ends up learning a lot about Womanhood And Himself.
- Sorority drama. It’s pretty much just the Unicorn Club all over again.
- Elizabeth and her new boyfriend are so fucking obsessed with themselves that they make a big damn deal about their one week anniversary, to the point that all their friends end up planning a surprise party for them and they all eat ice cream together. Really.
- Bruce and Lila are involved in a terrible plane crash. They fall in hate-love. It is awesome.
- Stephen Wakefield shoots Jessica’s husband. Or he shoots himself during a dramatic scuffle. Something soapy like that.
- Jessica is almost raped. She is saved by Elizabeth and a mysterious stranger.
- Aggressive racists.
- Lila, wracked with grief over the death of her husband, gives away all of her clothes. And not to me. There’s real tragedy for you.
I mean, it goes on and on. That’s not nearly all of it. I advise you all to quit your jobs immediately and dedicate your lives to reliving this awesomeness. Totally worth it.
It kinda makes me wish there’d been a Babysitters Club: The College Years. I bet things would get real wacky over at Stoneybrook University.
*** I bet you don’t believe this is real.
I can't get enough of the delightful scene on this cover, which unfortunately appears nowhere within the book. Look at those joyful babysitters! Updating Claudia's outfit was pretty easy and fun until I realized it was getting way too classy and coordinated, at which point I threw in some neon accessories. Gotta keep it real Kishi style.
Here's the original book entry, which is formatted kinda funky and missing its image, but hey, close enough, right?
Shameless self promotion: I'm running a giveaway at my job right now and I've grown addicted to promoting it. So, uh, consider entering my contest? The prize is 12 artisan candles and my eternal love and devotion. Fuck, if one of you guys wins it, let me know when I email you from my super-profesh work email (I suggest 'have you found my red ribbon?' as our code) and I'll smuggle a BSC book in there or something. It'll be like Babysitters Chain Letter, but with ethically made candles.
I was touring the internet and came across this. I . . . don't know how to feel about it.
I searched for this show but found nothing else about it online, so I guess it never came to fruition. Maybe Ann M. Martin issued a cease and desist, who knows.
A couple other administrative updates:
1. I kinda accidentally lost the whatclaudiawore.com domain and the company sitting on it wants $$$ to get it back, so, um, we've returned to the super fetch blogspot.com url. I own whatclaudiawore.co (small comforts) so maybe I'll set that up one of these days.
Just more evidence that I'm the most dedicated blogger out there!
2. Sometimes I see things that make me think of Claudia and I add weird captions and put them on Pinterest. It's like a mini-dose of Stoneybrook fashionz. Enjoy! Or don't. Don't let me tell you how to live your best life.
Bunheads, you guys. Bunheads. You gotta get on this ABC Family train.
Come to think of it, ABC Family is also the reason I had this weird three year obsession with the Gilmore Girls at an age too embarrassing to report (still think Jess Mariano is the DREAMIEST). And then I had that shameful two year obsession with Gossip Girl (Dan, you guys? Really? Dan fucking Humphrey?) and then this year I got oddly obsessed with how badly the show ended and then eventually I found this finale recap and it strangely made everything better.
And now I kinda love Bunheads and I'm really embarrassed about it, but apparently not embarrassed enough to not talk about it on a completely public blog. Sometimes I watch adult tv shows* too. Really**.
Which led to this email:
Which leads to this post.
So, you know, if you're not into this cotton candy puff of a show, there's really nothing for you here. Sorry dudes.
Onward. Let's contemplate together.
So, you know, if you're not into this cotton candy puff of a show, there's really nothing for you here. Sorry dudes.
Onward. Let's contemplate together.
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The amount of girl power in this image is overwhelming.
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Most likely to benefit from some serious time in therapy. Most likely to get drunk at a high school party and throw up in the bushes. Most likely to run away from home. To be honest, I can't figure out whether Sasha is Sunny Winslow or Cokie Mason or Stephanie Green from Sleepover Friends (because as Lauren pointed out, they both have their own houses).
Millie Stone is obviously adult Kristy Thomas. If you disagree you're just not paying attention.
* Speaking of totally adult tv shows: I have a lot of concerns about Girl Meets World, the first of which being that I totally conceptualized that show on my elementary school playground and I think somebody owes 8 year old Kim a LOT of money.
** Sometimes I also read adult books. But not very often, apparently.
Just randomly found the most amazing style blog you're not reading (or maybe you are, I'm often late to the game on this stuff) called What My Daughter Wore. I got so into it I started thinking that some kids would be cool to have until I remembered that they cost money and require a lot of, like, maintenance and whatnot. Or so I hear.
Anyway, whether or not these cool young ladies know it they are totes channeling the Babysitters Club and I'm loving every second of it. Am I wrong here?
I've retained a troubling amount of information about books I read during my childhood.
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